Audio Upload | May 29, 2024 9:26 AM
May 29, 2024 • 9:10 AM – 9:28 AM • Janelle Conner • Audio Upload

Greg Weimer 00:04
Hello and welcome to the Imagine that podcast. I’m your host, Greg Weimer, founder, partner and wealth manager at Confluence Financial Partners. Each month, we’ll explore new ways to help you maximize your life and your legacy and meet some extraordinary people along the way. So if you’re looking to get more out of your life today and legacy tomorrow, let’s get started.

Katie Montagazzi 00:26
Thanks, everybody, for joining us. I have Greg here, and this is Katie Montagazzi, director of marketing here at Confluence. And we thought today we would talk about. Let me back up a little bit. Working with clients and families, there’s been a common theme within our business of helping people and families navigate transitions, whether that be career transitions, having a challenging loss in the family. There’s several. And I think that we have discovered that there’s sort of, I don’t want to call it a framework, but Greg has some insight on navigating transitions that I think could be helpful for our audience to listen in on.

Katie Montagazzi 01:10
So Greg, I don’t know if you want to start off with just sharing. You referenced the river of change a lot, which I think is a great opening. So if you could share about that.

Greg Weimer 01:17
I do. I think first of all, it’s constant. River life really is a series of transitions. It’s a series of changes and I don’t know how the listeners feel, but I feel like the transitions and the changes that we go through, the rate is increasing. Like the world really is changing rapidly and we’re going through transitions and, you know, really navigating or having the courage to accept a change that’s an opportunity or how do you have the resilience to really go through a change in a transition? That’s a challenge. You said the word challenge.

Greg Weimer 01:55
So two very different types of transitions, but really thinking how to navigate them individually for a family or for a business. We change a lot. Innovate. We try to add more value, but it still represents change, and we need to really think about how we do that.

Katie Montagazzi 02:18
That’s interesting. I think I want to segment them into two things, but there are transitions that you don’t have control of, that you haveto manage.

Greg Weimer 02:26
You control how you handle them though, right?

Katie Montagazzi 02:28
How you work through them, how you handle them. And then there’s challenges or opportunities, I should say, that are more decisions.

Greg Weimer 02:34
Right. And by the way, I’m saying even the ones that are challenges, I’m not saying they’re easy. Like, you need help and you need a team to get through them. But really thinking through how you’re handling those challenges is important. And then you’re right on the other side of the equation is opportunities. But how we handle transitions, in my opinion, has a huge impact on where we end up and our overall happiness.

Katie Montagazzi 03:01
So how do you, we keep saying the river of change, but it really is visual. Yeah. So how do you end up on the other side of the river or. You could end up in the current, just going down the stream and worst place.

Greg Weimer 03:14
Yeah. So the river of change. And we talk about a lot in here, and it helps us help each other get to the other side, and then as soon as we get to the other side, we create another river or there’s multiple rivers going on. So if you’re listening, here’s the picture I want you to think about. You’re on side a of the river of change. You’re on a bank. You’re comfortable, you’re happy.

Greg Weimer 03:33
Business is good. Life is good. You don’t need to change anything. You’re content. But we know as human beings, if we don’t push ourselves to grow, we actually do erode. So while you feel really good on that bank of that bank a, you could get stale. There’s a river, and you know you want to get to the other side.

Greg Weimer 03:53
And the other side is beautiful. Wonderful. It’s fabulous. It’s happiness. It’s the change you want to make. And in between you a, where you are and b, where you want to go. Euphoria.

Greg Weimer 04:04
Wonderful, better, whatever. Better health, whatever that is. You realize in between there’s a river. And you start on that river and maybe for the first couple days, or you feel good because your feet are still on the ground, you’re feeling good. And then you get in the middle. And I think you said this to me yesterday, someone said, are you swimming? Because when you get in the middle, your feet are off the ground.

Greg Weimer 04:29
You’re no longer, you’re treading water. You’re treading water and you feel funny. And a lot of people, if they don’t have someone beside them to help them or willpower to really understand how great the other side is, you will be inclined to do one of two things. You either go back or you push through. Someone helps you. Your courage, your willpower takes you to the other bank, and you start to feel a little more comfortable as your feet get under you again. And then you get to the other side.

Greg Weimer 04:57
And that exercise of doing that really does build your muscle of learning how to change. So not only did you conquer that river of change, but that muscle, that skill set. Helps. I would argue strongly to be a successful organization, for us to remain relevant to our clients, we need to have the courage to go through the river of change together. We need to work through it and push to the other side. What a lot of people do, that you got to be a risk, be careful of. You get out in the middle and you just go with the current.

Greg Weimer 05:28
You’re going to end up somewhere you don’t even control. You just like you go. Life just takes you through a series of events. You don’t have any willpower, and so you just end up somewhere you don’t even want to be as an organization. And pretty soon, there was a general, I think, like 20 years ago ago, he said, if you don’t like change, you’re going to like your relevance a lot less. But I think that happens to businesses, right? Businesses no longer sit in how we always talk about how do we add value, how do we add value, how do we add massive value to clients.

Greg Weimer 05:59
But you have to be willing to transition your business. You have to be willing to change. You have to be willing. To innovate.

Katie Montagazzi 06:07
So when you say, is the other side big enough, do you have willpower? What do you mean by that?

Greg Weimer 06:11
You got a big why? If your why, why? This is from Tony Robbins, but he said, and I’ll cite something else from him also, but if your why is big enough, you’ll figure it out if you’re setting up and you gotta be emotional about it. So, like, I wanna get in shape because. Blank, whatever. I wanna get in shape because I love my six grandchildren and I, and I really want to watch my six grandchildren get married, and I want to have the health to be on the dance floor, and I want to be the guy dancing and enjoying their wedding. And if I don’t get in shape, that’s a why it’s got to be emotional.

Greg Weimer 06:43
You got to really create why do you want to do it? And it’s Tony, if your why is big enough, you’ll figure out how to do it. And it’s really important that you, when you’re trying to go through a transition, that’s a challenge or it’s an opportunity. When you’re going through an opportunity, you really got to think through why. Why are you doing it?

Katie Montagazzi 07:00
Yeah, I think this is important to note, too. There’s a difference. I don’t know if it was you or Tony Robbins or who, but there’s a difference between goals and dreams. 100% goals are, you know, I’ll lose five pounds, I’ll lose ten pounds if dreams are something you’ll get ****** for. So when you say you’re Martin Luther.

Greg Weimer 07:13
King, I had a dream, not I had a goal, right?

Katie Montagazzi 07:15
So it sounds cheesy and it sort of is, but it’s real. So on the other side of that, the river is your story, what you focus on for the future. It’s a dream, it’s not a goal, right?

Greg Weimer 07:26
So I think of goals as like, one dimensional and quantitative. A dream is a movie. Like a dream, you have to see it, you have to fill it, you have to taste it, you have to have as many senses filling that goal as possible or that dream as possible. And then it moves from your head to your heart and you create a why to it, and you’re more likely to accomplish it.

Katie Montagazzi 07:50
So if you do, I mean, maybe there’s some people listening that they are kind of like, I’m in the current. I’ve been in the current for the last 510, 20 years. Any thoughts on helping create what’s on the other side, what’s on the other side and how they can get there. If that kind of stuff. Yeah.

Greg Weimer 08:04
Put your head in the refrigerator, go listen to loud music, change your state. Like, you gotta change your state. We talk about that a lot in there.

Katie Montagazzi 08:09
That’s actually really important.

Greg Weimer 08:10
It’s really important.

Katie Montagazzi 08:11
I need people to know what you’re talking about when you say that, though.

Greg Weimer 08:14
Yeah. So, like, your physical state. And again, this comes from. Whether you listen, Ed, my lad, Tony Robbins, you know, whoever they are, it’s all some version of, you got to change your state. The state you’re in. When you put together your goals, the state you’re in, or strategic coach, they’re all fabulous and they all say. The state you’re in.

Greg Weimer 08:35
So the mindset. Right. The mindset you’re in is so important. If you could do one thing throughout the day, if you want to be great at transitions, manage your state. That could be at 02:00 when you’re feeling a little slow, go for a walk. That could mean I don’t have time for drop and do ten push ups. That could mean turn on loud music.

Greg Weimer 08:57
I make sure when I come into the office in the morning, my state’s pretty crisp, so I listen to music in the morning, I have a certain routine that I do. So when I get in here, my state is right. And then throughout the day, we’re all human. Our state can get a little off. So you really, really, really need to manage your state. That takes a burst. First something.

Greg Weimer 09:19
And so change the temperature, walk outside, jump in the pool. You gotta do something to change your state.

Katie Montagazzi 09:27
Yeah, I think a good example of that is a lot of people say they think or they think more. They’re more creative when they’re in the shower. 100%. Not to be weird, but it’s because you relax. Your state is relaxed.

Greg Weimer 09:36
Not that it’d be a great invention. If you put, like a grease board in the shower. That was you do because you’re relaxed. You’re in a state. You’re in a positive state. Right. Your state.

Greg Weimer 09:47
The first thing you have to do is get in the right state then. And this is from all of them, everybody. Tony Robbins. The story you tell yourself is so **** important. The story you tell yourself is true. You better be really careful of the story you’re telling yourself because it’s going to be true. Right?

Greg Weimer 10:09
So, you know, people say, oh, I hate getting old. I love getting old. Like I’m getting older. It’s a blessing. Not everybody gets that privilege. Like the story, I can’t do it. I’m doomed.

Greg Weimer 10:18
Eeyore. It’s true. You can’t and you won’t. So the story you tell yourself, and I’m not saying raw, raw stuff. I’m just saying that you are, you are, you are going to train your brain to think a certain way. And what you dwell on, you multiply. And if you want to make change or you want to go through a transition, if you keep telling yourself, I’m tired, I can’t do it, I’m stressed, it is all true.

Greg Weimer 10:45
Yep. That’ll be your ad. If you say, I’m fired up, I’m thankful. If you express gratitude and you tell your, you tell yourself a different story, the outcomes will be dramatically different. Right.

Katie Montagazzi 10:58
Yeah. Satan’s story.

Greg Weimer 11:00
And then strategy and strategy. So then, yeah, and I have a coach is out of London. We just went through this in me. So now your strategy. So, like, what are you going to do about it? You know, I mean, we can certainly be in the clouds and dream about the other side of the bank, but at some point, you got to take that stroke, right? At some point, you got to know your next steps.

Greg Weimer 11:18
At some point, you have to say, okay, here’s the next three things I need. Don’t overthink it. Don’t think about, you know, but there’s three things you need to do right away and having some sense of urgency and some sense of strategy. But if you’re in a bad mood and you’re in a bad state and you’re telling yourself you’re doomed and you have a bad story, your strategy just doesn’t matter.

Katie Montagazzi 11:42
Yeah, good luck.

Greg Weimer 11:43
But I’m going to tell you right now, if you have the right state, peak problem. Crisp. If you tell yourself a story not embedded in, like, fiction, but fact, a lot of the stories we tell ourselves to make it, they’re not true. It’s just what we convince ourselves so you can do it, and you tell yourself a positive story, and you have your real, clear vision of why you want that story. And then the strategy is possible. But if you don’t get the first two right, the strategy just doesn’t matter. But when you get.

Greg Weimer 12:17
I don’t know. I think our organization has become pretty good at going through transitions because we understand how the needs of families, from when I started the business in 1986, of just buying people’s stocks and bonds, looking at the portfolio, to looking at their state plan, tax planning, family planning, all the things we do for people, philanthropy. Right. When I think about all the stuff we do today versus the technology AI, I mean, like, we looked at how the technology about that this morning that we use, it’s mind boggling. So. But when you think about what we had to do to get here from 1996, selling someone 100 shares of IBM stock, it’s been a lot of rivers of change, and it’s been a lot of transitions, and I’ve loved it. Like, I think we’re in our fun.

Greg Weimer 13:07
It’s kind of fun.

Katie Montagazzi 13:08
Yeah.

Greg Weimer 13:09
And, you know, there’s moments where we look at each other and say, with, like, the new technology we had today, look at each other and go, okay, I’m sweet women with that thing. But at the other side is a really good spot for us and a really good spot for our clients.

Katie Montagazzi 13:21
Yeah. So it’s sort of a bonus question, but. Okay, say you are on the other side. You’re on the other side of the river. You swam through it, you got through it. You’re realizing your dream. There are some people that I think you just explained, confluence kind of has done this.

Katie Montagazzi 13:33
How do you successfully say, okay, here’s the other side of the river. We’re heading towards, like, next one. Yeah. What drives the.

Greg Weimer 13:38
Okay, here’s what I don’t do well, here’s what I would just encourage everyone to do. Give yourself a high five when you get to the other side. So first, like, really enjoy the fact that you just accomplished something. Too many people go to the next river and they never have the celebration. Yep. And I’m one of those people. I’m paranoid that we’re not giving me the next river.

Greg Weimer 13:55
So, first of all, give yourself a high five. And then second, I think you have to take a step back and you have to anticipate. So I think, like, I think our responsibility to our clients is anticipating not only answering what they’re asking us to do for them, but anticipate what they may need in five years and then taking that next river. So saying, okay, so we think the families we serve could potentially want this iPad, which no one ever asked for. You have to anticipate what they’re going to need and want in the future, and you have to take on that next river. And it’s a series.

Katie Montagazzi 14:33
Yep. And it never ends. If you want to remain relevant, I’ll say that.

Greg Weimer 14:37
And I would say, like, people, it can sound exhausting, but. The people I find that are the happiest, that have the most energy, are focused on improvement, and they are convinced their best days are ahead. So the people that are status quo, happy. I didn’t need to change my business since 1986. I’m good. I would argue they are less healthy, less happy. So I’m not saying you change for change sake.

Greg Weimer 15:13
I’m saying you have to be willing to innovate to keep up with the times and stay relevant. And if you do, my sense is you’re probably a little more upbeat of a person.

Katie Montagazzi 15:24
Absolutely. Not to use the analogy again, but if you’re constantly swimming, you’re going to have different muscles than people that aren’t swimming.

Greg Weimer 15:29
You do. You just get like, I think we as an organization have gotten, we’ve become pretty good, absorbing new technology, new knowledge, new expertise.

Katie Montagazzi 15:42
I will say one more thing too and you touched on this but I think it is really important to have the support people with you in the water because I think a lot of people here at confluence would say we wouldn’t have gotten to this if it wasn’t for this team or this person or everybody the culture in general. So it’s super important to understand who you’re surrounding yourself with, who your network is, who you’re letting influence you. You sort of protect that a little bit and.

Greg Weimer 16:05
I think it’s I’m 59. I think it’s in Katie’s in her early thirties. I think it’s really credit to the team that we’ve built you and the other people your age because candidly you guys have been wonderful at this. So our millennials are rock stars so I have great confidence in our firm for a long time because you guys really have helped a lot of people across to the other side and. I think as an organization, it’s important we continue to hire people that are inquisitive, that have a lot of energy, and have a growth mindset. So I will put our next generation of people up against any other. And I think that really helps us stay relevant to the families we serve, not only for the generation that are my age, but the next generation also.

Greg Weimer 16:55
Yes, very important. And that transition, which I’m not going, and I’ll be here 15 more years, but that transition, as our firm, from one generation to another, is really important also for us to think about.

Katie Montagazzi 17:08
Yep. That was great. Thank you. Yeah. We just said the river of change transitions seems to be a common topic with clients, associates, and just wanted to have you share some wisdom from that.

Greg Weimer 17:21
Yeah. And we look forward to having those conversations. We talk to a lot of families that are going through transitions. We talk to a lot of business owners that are going through an exit and they’re selling their business. How did they do that transition? How do we prepare for the transition of wealth? Unfortunately, sometimes the transitions we go to are challenges, not opportunities, but we help families through those also.

Katie Montagazzi 17:44
Yeah, absolutely. So we’re open to conversations. We look forward to them. Thanks, Greg. Yeah. Thanks, Greg.

Greg Weimer
00:04
Hello and welcome to the Imagine that podcast. I’m your host, Greg Weimer, founder, partner
and wealth manager at Confluence Financial Partners. Each month, we’ll explore new ways
to help you maximize your life and your legacy and meet some extraordinary people along
the way. So if you’re looking to get more out of your life today and legacy tomorrow, let’s get
started.
Katie Montagazzi
00:25
Welcome, everybody. This is Katie Montagazzi, director of marketing here at Confluence,
and I am interviewing Greg Weimer, our CEO. So welcome, Greg.
Greg Weimer
00:34
Thank you.
Katie Montagazzi
00:35
Yeah. So today we’re talking about how coaches can improve our lives. And really from
Greg’s experience with formal coaches to informal coaches, from sports reading, books,
podcasts, and just how you can utilize other people’s expertise and experiences to improve
your life. So welcome, Greg. Like I said, I wanted to start sort of with Greg’s background.
You’ve been in the business for 38 ish years or so.
Greg Weimer
01:04
38 years, yeah, that’s it. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Katie Montagazzi
01:06
We can’t round up and say. 40. And you share a lot internally here at confluence with
associates, how coaching has affected your career, your family, hobbies that you’ve picked
up along the way. So I wanted to touch on informal coaching, how that’s impacted your life,
professional coaching, maybe life business coaching, and then how you think a coach could
impact people’s lives and why they should consider. Yeah, I think.
Greg Weimer
01:37
I hope everybody goes and has some type of a coach that could be a priest, that could be
someone at the gym, a trainer that could be a coach to help you with or with help you learn
how to play the guitar. It could be a spiritual, it could be anything. It could be a business
coach, it could be a consultant, it could be a life coach. I think the single and by the way it
was a teacher at some point, right? If I think about the great teachers I’ve had and they were
just bigger than their subject and they taught me something and I learned from them so I
think everybody and you can hire a coach. I’ve had a lot of coaches for our profession for me
to think about our business, how we can improve our business, how we can add more value
to clients and I think everybody would benefit from some type of a coach. You have to start
with there’s no neutral.
Greg Weimer
02:30
So you either have drive or reverse. In life, there is no neutral. So you’re either improving or
you’re eroding. That’s just reality. Humans were not meant to stay the same. They were
meant to evolve and they were meant to improve. So if you watch the, at least from my
perspective, if I watch and I try to learn from the healthiest, happiest, actually the happiest
people, they tend to be improving something.
Greg Weimer
03:01
It could be as small as golf, it could be as great as they’re trying to build a major
organization, whatever that is, or it could be their health. To be truly happy and believe your
best days are ahead of you, you’ve got to be improving some part of your life. And I don’t
know how you do that if you don’t have coaches. I don’t even. I could try to count all the
coaches I’ve had that I’ve benefited from over the years. But truly hiring a coach will be the
best. It’ll be the best investment you can make.
Greg Weimer
03:31
I think if you think about making investments, the best investment you can make is in
yourself. The second best investment you can make is in your business. Then you go to
other people in other businesses. But if that coach is 1520 or 25 or 30 or $40,000, that
investment that you make on a professional coach, it’s the money that you’re going to get the
best return on. I have a coach right now. I was on with him this morning. He’s out of London.
Greg Weimer
04:01
I talk to him every two weeks. I probably spent too much money, but when I look back in ten
years, it’s going to be the best investment I make. Sorry for such a long answer.
Katie Montagazzi
04:10
No, it’s fine. That was a great introduction. I was willing to say. I think it’s interesting you’ve
shared a lot of this internally, but. Your quote, unquote, formal business coaching sort of
started with Tony Robbins. Whenever you listen to his tapes, when you were, I guess, early
on in your career, and then you go through, you know, that’s evolved into, you know, we still
utilize his type of material here at confluence. But books, you.
Katie Montagazzi
04:33
I think you said you allow yourself one nonfiction book a year.
GW
Greg Weimer
04:37
I used to. I don’t anymore. I don’t do any anymore.
Katie Montagazzi
04:40
So books are great.
Greg Weimer
04:41
Yeah. I used to allow myself one book on fiction, and everything else was, like, to improve.
Yeah. So, today, no. Like, I. And it’s not even what. It’s not even what I learned from the
book.
Greg Weimer
04:53
It’s what the book causes me to think. So it’s not the words that you read. It’s what. Those
words. They almost unleash your mind to be more creative, more thoughtful, more. And so I
think whatever that is, and we can name a bunch of them ten times. We all just read ten
times better than two times.
Greg Weimer
05:10
So, like, it’s. I think it’s, by the way, reading them in a group with other people. So, for
businesses, it gives you the same language to speak. So then when you start speaking the
same language, it’s easier to just communicate. Cause you have similar vocabulary. So,
yeah, it could be books. It could be Tony Robbins.
Greg Weimer
05:31
That was back when there were cassettes. And by the way, I think, like, I don’t know if I
thought about. And I don’t even know if I’d like them anymore, but in that point in my life, I
think I probably spent. I probably spent, like, $600, which was like, a million. So. And I went
and I got 30 tapes from Tony Robbins, and I put them in my cassette player in the car, and. It
was game changer.
Katie Montagazzi
05:53
Yeah, I just want to start somewhere, like Tony Robbins cassettes, whatever that means.
Books, those are more like informal things you can utilize every single day. That’s easy to
grasp. One thing I wanted to mention was you had said, when things change in life and you
have different seasons of life, maybe that means you invest in a coach or you listen to
certain podcasts. But you always mentioned September 11 and how you believe the world
changed, which it did, and you knew you had to change.
Greg Weimer
06:22
100%. Yes. When September 11 hit, I thought, okay, I need someone to help me think
through. The market reacted, and it was very frightening time. So I thought, okay, what I did.
September 10 has to be a little different than I’m doing September 12. So I went and hired a
coach to really help me get focused so I could help people navigate through that period of
time that was frightening, not only from a financial standpoint, but from a safety standpoint.
Greg Weimer
06:53
So we were worried about our health and our wealth because we didn’t know, you know,
what it was going to feel like to get on an airplane. So I literally went and got a coach to help
me think through how I could behave differently through that period of time.
Katie Montagazzi
07:05
Yeah, I just think that story is.
Greg Weimer
07:06
Important, by the way. I also think it’s important for a family or a couple. Right. So it’s really
important that couples are on the same page. So Lori and I, my wife went to, like, a two day
type. Seminar in Pittsburgh on prioritization. And at that point in our life, it was very, very
important.
Greg Weimer
07:26
We did that. So I think if you can do it as a couple or as a family, it’s extraordinarily powerful.
Katie Montagazzi
07:32
I think that’s a really good point. When you say different seasons of life cause you to have
different coaches or different ways you think about things, but it can include your spouse and
your family. It doesn’t need to be all about. Me, me, me, me, me. How can you improve your
life? And that might mean different people.
Greg Weimer
07:46
I went to this coach up in Toronto, Dan Sullivan, and it was a lot of money, and I went up
every quarter. And people came around from around the world. There was a small group of
us came around the world, business leaders, and we did. And, you know, hardly any. I got a
lot from that. It was fabulous. It was great investment, but probably the.
Greg Weimer
08:04
Greatest thing I got from that was the importance of Lori and I going away for a long
weekend. January, February, March, April, and we went away. And now you wouldn’t think
business coach. Trying to learn how to grow in your business and have a greater impact on
people. You wouldn’t think that that would be the takeaway, but I’m telling you, that. Was a
game changer. Again, that was a moment in time.
Greg Weimer
08:24
That Laurie and I go in a way for. And by the way, if anyone wants to think about, we would.
We would go away. Four long weekends every single month. You’re always three weeks from
vacation or going on vacation. And it just. It was really important for us at.
Greg Weimer
08:39
That period of our life. So, yeah, so what you get from the coaching, it’s not all about
business. I went to a business coach, and personally, it was a very important moment.
Katie Montagazzi
08:51
Yeah, that’s actually a good segue. I was going to mention, not every coach that you hire, not
every bookery or podcast listen to. You need to take as scripture 100%, like, I believe in this.
I’m gonna change my life because of all these things I learned. But the one, two, three,
whatever nuggets you get from those experiences, that’s the investment you make. That’s
the result.
Greg Weimer
09:12
The naysayers were like, oh, but that. Guy or that gal, you know, they do. The naysayers.
Hey, listen to me. 80% of its b’s. Yeah. The 20% will change your life.
Katie Montagazzi
09:20
Yes.
Greg Weimer
09:20
So you just have to, like, understand, like, 80. So, like, there’s a certain portion of it that’s
needless self promotion that makes me crazy. Like, I’m already paying. Stop trying to sell
me. The next thing I get it. So you have, like, the needless self. Promotion, you have the little
bit of.
Greg Weimer
09:33
B’S, and then you have the Life changing. So what if it’s 20% is life changing? Focus on that,
not the fact that. He’S on his third wife or second. Wife or whoever these people are that are
naysayers. Just focus on the 10% or 20%. That’S gonna change your life.
Katie Montagazzi
09:51
Yeah, yeah, that’s great.
Greg Weimer
09:52
There’s always a reason not to do it, right? I mean, yeah, but, yeah, but, yeah, but. Or this
place or. Yeah, but you had to go to. Vegas for a week. Yeah, but be careful that you have
buts. It’s really important.
Katie Montagazzi
10:04
Yeah, so. Something I want you to share is what do you think three or five or whatever
amount of takeaways are important for people to know? Like, this is how you’ve experienced
coaches impacting your life.
Greg Weimer
10:19
So my current coach has me, first of all, the one thing they all do for you is they. And by the
way, I know the term, it’s metacognitive. It’s metacognitive. Metacognitive is. I just asked my
daughter the word, so I was pretty sure. Metacognitive is when you think about your thinking,
and really thinking about your thinking is extraordinarily important because the stories you
tell yourself will become your life. So you got to really think about what stories you’re telling
yourself because what you focus on, you will multiply.
Greg Weimer
10:54
So I think one of the things a coach does is they really help with that. So that’s one of the
things my coach has me focused on. They also really help you focus on your goal. Ten
years. What is it you’re trying to accomplish? My coach said to me this morning, so are you
afraid you’re playing small ball? Another reason they’re like, let’s make sure we continue to
think big.
Greg Weimer
11:16
Think big. Think big. So they do help you clarify your goals. There’s some coaches, and by
the way, all coaches, they’re all good at something different, right? So, like, so I tend not to
keep the same coach forever, but because some are really good at clarifying your goals,
some are fabulous at putting together the process to achieve your goals. All tend to be pretty
good at helping you stay accountable to your goals. But in my world, it just feels like if I can
help someone, if someone can help me crystallize what it’s all about for me in my life, if they
can help me think through some of the key activities and behaviors I need to do to make it
actually happen, and then they can help me and sort of call B’s when it’s not true that I’m not
doing it, held me accountable to what I said I was going to do.
Greg Weimer
12:04
For me, that’s a pretty good recipe. So I think that’s what a coach, at least for me, that’s what
they do.
Katie Montagazzi
12:12
Yeah. And I didn’t want to mention, too, a lot of people use the term business coach, but from
your experience, and what I’ve heard is. You could have a coach that helps you think about
your thinking, which isn’t necessarily tied to the business of wealth management, but the way
you think about your thinking does affect the business. So for people to really expand their
minds and think, I don’t need a business coach. I just need somebody to help me improve.
XYZ.
Greg Weimer
12:37
Right? Yeah. I mean, for me, business and life is sort of the same. So, like, it’s all the same
to me. But really, but really making sure on a daily basis, your peak, to make sure that you
are doing your best job possible for your associates, doing the best job possible for your
clients and your family. It’s really making sure that you have your stories that you’re telling
yourself. Positive.
Katie Montagazzi
13:08
Right? Last question. This might not be a formal answer from you, but if somebody said, hey,
I do want to invest in myself, whether it be a coach or a book or whatever, how do you think
they should go about that?
Greg Weimer
13:19
Yeah, I talk to friends and say, like, hey, who do you use, coach? Call me. I’ll give you some
thoughts on who I used. This new coach is the guy out of London. I mean, I’ve only worked
with him for a month and a half, but I’d ask around. I also just start googling. Like, I start
googling and say, what’s this person?
Greg Weimer
13:42
Or I get on YouTube and I’m like, okay, I’ll watch a YouTube video of a coach. I’m like, do I
connect with this person? Are they speaking to me? And do I think I could benefit from that
person? And don’t get bothered that in a couple years you feel like, okay, I got what I think I
need from that person. Next coach. And it doesn’t need to be formal either.
Greg Weimer
14:02
You could say two, three associates. Let’s get together and let’s have it. Gregory. My son and
I, we go to Dallas every four months to talk to other organizations like ours to make sure that
we are thinking about the business appropriately. So it could also be, I’m doing another one
in a couple weeks in Orlando with a different group of businesses. So it could be specific to
your industry. It could be, you’re like, hey, man, you know what?
Greg Weimer
14:30
Today’s the day I’m going to get in shape and I’m going to call the gym. I’m going to get a
personal trainer. And that personal trainer is going to be very empowerful to you because it’ll
hold you accountable. Because if I tell the trainer I’ll see him at four, I’m more likely to see
him at four than if I tell myself I’m going to work out at four. So the accountability. So I think
some of it depends on what you’re trying to accomplish, and then it may be spiritual. There’s
spiritual folks out there that can help.
GW
Greg Weimer
14:53
With your faith. So first I think you have to figure out, like, what is it that I’m trying to improve
right now? It could be whatever. And then you go get a person or a group of people that are
working on the same thing. And it is amazing over a 1020, 30 year period of time, how it truly
does change the trajectory of you personally and your career.
Katie Montagazzi
15:13
Yeah. Yeah. So. I guess to sum that up, you said in the beginning of the podcast, humans
are most happy when they’re improving. And that’s really the impact. Yep, that’s the impact of
hiring a coach or just getting better. So thanks for sharing your experience.
Katie Montagazzi
15:29
I enjoy it. I hope everybody takes a little nugget from this coaching session, if you will. But
thank you, and I look forward to talking with you again. If we can help, call.

• Greg Weimer

00:04

Hello and welcome to the Imagine that podcast. I’m your host, Greg Weimer, founder, partner and wealth manager at Confluence Financial Partners. Each month, we’ll explore new ways to help you maximize your life and your legacy and meet some extraordinary people along the way. So if you’re looking to get more out of your life today and legacy tomorrow, let’s get started. Welcome. I’m Greg, and welcome to the imagine that podcast. I’m really looking forward to today for a lot of reasons.

• GW

Greg Weimer

00:34

Sometimes the things we imagine are really positive. And I think today we can imagine and hope and pray that we’ll be actually literally able to save someone’s life or at least add some peace to some families out there. And I’ll tell you why I say it that way, is today we’re going to talk to families about something that is a real pandemic in our nation, and that is the mental health of our children today. Not to scare you with a statistic, but one of the leading causes of death in the United States of America with adolescents is suicide. And I’ll be more specific in that 18% of deaths with adolescents. Are suicide. We all fear cancer, rightfully so, but it’s only four and a half percent of the deaths in America.

• GW

Greg Weimer

01:34

I’m gonna say that again. 18% of the deaths in America with adolescents suicide. Four and a half percent of the deaths in America, adolescents, cancer. We need to do better as a nation. And there’s good news. There’s good news is. I think the good news is, I think it has our attention.

• GW

Greg Weimer

01:51

America has woke up to the fact that this is a problem, and we’re talking about it, and we’re going to talk about it today with one of my favorite guests ever. And I mean that because her name is Madison Weimer, and I’m extremely proud that Madison, in her life, her purpose and her passion is to help bend the curve on the numbers I just gave you. Madison is a licensed professional counselor, and that came with an awful lot of schooling, an awful lot of dedication, and she helps families. And she used to just work with children. Now she works with more than just children. Her specialty is in OCD. And in hearing you talk about your profession, it is amazing how many people go from struggling with a mental health issue to going to suicide.

• GW

Greg Weimer

02:41

So let’s do this in a couple components. Let’s start with, by the way, I want you to share the statistic you share with us over there about how many? Yeah. So let’s do that. And then let’s talk about, like, after you share that statistic, why don’t you give us some things that families and children can do to prevent a mental health issue? Then how do we recognize one? Then what do we do when one occurs?

• GW

Greg Weimer

03:13

Because I feel like people just feel lost. So I don’t know. I just feel like our goal we were talking about before we started recording, like, our goal is just to help a couple kids. Our goal is just to help a couple families. So hopefully we’re able to do that in the next period of time. Give the stat.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

03:28

Give the stat. Okay, so the stat that we were talking about before this is that 20% of adolescents contemplate suicide at some point in their lives.

• GW

Greg Weimer

03:37

That scares the **** out of me.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

03:38

It’s a lot, a lot of. Of teenagers, and it has become incredibly normal. It’s a topic that in. But wait, but wait. Yeah, so.

• GW

Greg Weimer

03:48

When we say normal, does that mean it’s like, almost becomes acceptable? Do you know what I mean? We were talking about different cultures, so we were also talking about different cultures. And some cultures, it’s very low. And in other cultures, my concern is because it’s considered normal. Normal. That means that.

• GW

Greg Weimer

04:08

I worry that that means that it becomes acceptable. Yeah.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

04:11

Yeah. So. And there is cultures that it’s not as discussed, and those are cultures also that mental health is not as discussed. So they do suffer in silence, sometimes a little bit more. But they also have different protective factors that causes them to not go to suicide as frequently maybe, as our culture does. But, yeah, it’s become a normalized topic. But it’s also.

• GW

Greg Weimer

04:33

So wait, if it’s 20%, though, like, you know, I mean, I had four kids, right? So you think about that, right? I mean, you do. You think, like, holy cow. I mean, I was in a Southwest catholic academy. Awesome place. I was there this morning for mass.

• GW

Greg Weimer

04:46

You know, there’s 400 kids in there. I could do the math pretty quick. Right? I mean, that’s like, 80 kids. Yeah. And so that’s big. And that’s contemplating suicide.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

04:54

It doesn’t mean that they necessarily want to act on it in that moment or are going to act on it, but it’s thought that crosses their mind of, it would be easier if I weren’t here. Something would be get. It would get better if I could just go to sleep and. Horrible.

• GW

Greg Weimer

05:09

Like, just as a parent, kids. Not true. Yeah. Like, just untrue. Like, so, like, that could be the story you’re telling yourself. Start telling yourself a different story. Yeah.

• GW

Greg Weimer

05:18

Untrue. Yeah. Okay. Mad and I think that’s what we want to work on. If it’s 20%, should parents be talking to their kids about it or. Yeah. Put it.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

05:27

No, absolutely. So I think a lot of people think that talking about suicide is going to make it happen more, and it’s actually the complete opposite. Just asking someone if they’re having those thoughts is not going to make it. Let’s do that again.

• GW

Greg Weimer

05:40

It’s important. Right. Because I’ve heard that before. Yeah. It’s a scary thing to bring up.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

05:46

Right.

• GW

Greg Weimer

05:47

But I think a parent, if I talk about suicide, oh, my gosh, they’re going to commit suicide. Yeah.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

05:50

No, you didn’t put the thought in their head they had or they don’t. You’re giving them the ability to open up and speak about thoughts that are really scary and sometimes feel isolating and like there’s something wrong with you and that it’s never going to get better and you’re just going to suffer in that silence in your own head. All right, we’ll go back to the preventative thing.

• GW

Greg Weimer

06:05

But I love the one time that you said, and you may not remember, we were talking and you said, if a teenager ever says to you, like, what’s going on in their life, what’s the best thing you can say to make them feel good? We’re going to talk about that, too.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

06:16

All right. We’re going to talk about that. We’ll get to that later then.

• GW

Greg Weimer

06:19

I love that. So anyhow, go to. So what can we do? Yeah. Well, I was going to say if I’m a parent, I am. You are parents.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

06:26

To all the parents out there.

• GW

Greg Weimer

06:27

What are some of the things. And kids, like, what are some of the children, what are some of the things we should be doing? Yeah.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

06:32

So when we look at. How we can prevent it. So there’s a way to prevent.

• GW

Greg Weimer

06:39

By the way, this fires me up, the fact that we’re able to do this. I’m glad it was, first of all, not only like a father daughter thing, but it’s really cool that, like, we’re able to help kids. The fact that, like, we’re talking about this and actually, I think it’s awesome. Yeah.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

06:51

So let’s do ABCs of keeping yourself in a good mood. So it’s ABC plus two, because there’s two things that I think parents can be doing that are really important. Come up very frequently in sessions with teens. So the a stands for accumulating positive experiences. The more we accumulate positive experiences. It’s like a buffer. It’s like bubble wrap to negative experiences.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

07:09

Right. So we should actively be doing at least two things every day, intentionally, just to put ourselves in a good mood. That can be as simple as fish fry with your dad tonight.

• GW

Greg Weimer

07:20

That’s exactly it.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

07:20

Yes. I was gonna say something like the drink you have in the morning, stuff like that. And what you’ll recognize is as you intentionally do things to put yourself in a good mood. Small things, nothing crazy. And be aware of them. And be aware of them, the more you’re going to start to be aware of the other things that make you in a good mood. So the little things throughout your day that you’re thankful for and grateful for, that puts you in a good mood.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

07:43

So that gives us purpose, and it gives us hope, right? So we want a life worth living and something worth living for. Purpose. So a lot of kids lose purpose, and they’re like, what’s the point of this life? I don’t know. So just by accumulating positive experiences, we’re able to, one, kind of have, like, a buffer against negative experiences, and two, give ourselves a purpose in life and have a life worth living for. So as a dad, so.

• GW

Greg Weimer

08:07

And I’m not having any more kids, but. So with our grandchildren, like, you just really want them to. You want to make them aware in the moment of enjoying it instead of just like, passively going through it? Is that it? You make them present to the moment? Or maybe if it’s an adult, instead of just drinking cup. The cup of coffee?

• GW

Greg Weimer

08:29

Yeah. You’re excited about the cup of coffee?

• MW

Maddy Weimer

08:31

I love the coffee. Yeah. I can’t wait.

• GW

Greg Weimer

08:33

At 05:00 when I say excited about it, I love it. So that’s it, like, gives you a purpose.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

08:37

I’m waking up this morning because I have a cup of coffee that I’m pumped for. I can’t wait for it. It’s amazing that that’s so small. So small.

• GW

Greg Weimer

08:44

So, so small.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

08:45

But it’s so small. So with your children, make sure they’re enjoying the moment. Doing things every day that is just for them because you also think they’re at school. They’re at school all day, and that’s stuff that’s given to them, assigned for them that they don’t necessarily have a choice over. So having things that they’re intentionally doing that they’re excited about, that they enjoy, and it doesn’t have to be anything.

• GW

Greg Weimer

09:04

So that half hour of pushing your kid on the swing or going for the walk or reading the book and all the things that sometimes we don’t have time for. Right. It’s important. Yep. So it’s not that you’re entertaining them for a half hour. It is that you’re helping their mental health.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

09:24

You’re helping them be able to have a buffer against negative experiences. So you’re helping them buffer against that person at school that said something negative to them, that grade at school that made them upset. They’re way more easier to handle that if it’s going to be something that then by nighttime, they’re happy, they’re playing on the spring. And that’s. I love that experience. What was the a? That’s.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

09:42

Accumulate.

• GW

Greg Weimer

09:43

Accumulate. I got it.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

09:44

Okay.

• GW

Greg Weimer

09:45

So then b is build mastery.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

09:47

So doing things that’s going to help you learn a skill, build a skill, doing something that is going to make you feel intentional, efficient and competent. Right. So that is going to, like, the piano lessons isn’t really about the piano.

• GW

Greg Weimer

10:01

No, it’s.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

10:01

And what we learn, actually, is we actually see more happiness. Chemicals go off in the brain when we’re learning something, rather than we, when we achieve what we thought we were going to like. Get to that point. You learned a lot. I know.

• GW

Greg Weimer

10:14

I know more than you think.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

10:15

Yeah, I know more than you think. That’s wonderful. So those.

• GW

Greg Weimer

10:20

So that. Whether it’s a sport, whether it’s an instrument, whatever. Crafting. Yeah, whatever it is. And I think we sometimes put too much emphasis on sports. Right. Yeah.

• GW

Greg Weimer

10:30

It’s those other things. It can be learning how to make your true for adults, too. I mean, I think adults are happiest when they’re learning to improve something. Yeah. All right, so I got that. Yeah.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

10:39

So it battles against hopelessness and helplessness, which is one of the number one things in depression that leads to suicide. Hopelessness and helplessness. Okay, so then we have the c, which is coping ahead. Coping ahead is going to be thinking about, okay, what do we do when those negative situations happen? How can I cope positively. So doing things such as breathing exercises, journaling, going for a walk, talking. This comes from a person that when I tell her to breathe, she gets mad at me, but go ahead.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

11:06

Okay, so I was just gonna say teenagers, and I’m out of my teenage years, but most adults as well, when you tell them to do something in the moment, that’s okay. It might get a little bit. It might go upset about it. Be careful with that. So this is why we cope. Ahead is important. Right?

• MW

Maddy Weimer

11:19

So when we’re calm, we sit there talking about, like, what do we do? Like, what do we do when we’re upset? What are we gonna do? What’s our plan? Right, okay, so our plan is that I’m gonna, like, nudge you and be like, it’s time for that walk. Like, this is the coping skills we talked about. So incorporating coping skills is really important.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

11:36

So in our business, the market goes down every once in a while, and we call them lifeboat drills.

• GW

Greg Weimer

11:39

Yeah. Like. Like, you don’t. You don’t learn. You don’t learn about a lifeboat when the boat’s going down, the cruisers going down. You go. Cruise ships go down.

• GW

Greg Weimer

11:47

You learn about a lifeboat when you’re. Yep. Peace of mind.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

11:50

Yeah. So coping.

• GW

Greg Weimer

11:52

Got it. Coping ahead. Yep. So that’s the abcs.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

11:54

And then we have plus two important things for parents to implement. So one is communication. And this is where we get back to the thing that I told you teenagers want to hear when they’re. I love that. I said, you need to learn to just say, that’s so annoying. I got it. That’s so annoying.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

12:08

So annoying.

• GW

Greg Weimer

12:09

Right.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

12:09

And it’s not in a way of being fake, it’s truly getting into their brain and feeling empathy for their situation, not fixing it, not solving it, not giving them. That’s important way because that’s what we try to do. Right.

• GW

Greg Weimer

12:21

As a parent, you always try to fix it like we’re gonna make go away. Instead, it’s like, I get you. They just want someone to listen. It’s annoying.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

12:28

I got it.

• GW

Greg Weimer

12:29

They want someone to listen. Yeah.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

12:31

That person in class that was going on, that’s so annoying. Instead of saying, you should do this, they just want to hear someone listen. So communication open and honestly communicating about feelings is really important. So adults can model positive communication as well. So being able to express themselves when they are having a negative emotion in a calm. Way and asking for what they need. That is going to help children also be able to do that in the future and then offer empathy and just listen.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

13:01

Just listen. I mean, most people, when you think about it, what do they want? They just want someone to listen to them. No question. They just want someone to get it and listen. And that’s why therapy is so helpful, because it’s someone that is just there to solely listen. Yeah.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

13:15

And that’s it. We’re there to listen and hear you and really get it. So communication is one of the plus twos. And the second one is letting your kids fail with support. They need to know how to handle negative situations. Yeah. As a nation, we’re raising fragile kids.

• GW

Greg Weimer

13:36

Yeah. Because we’re running around with pillows so they don’t get bruised. Yeah. So saving them is not going to help them.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

13:43

Right. Being there for them, offering them empathy through it, telling them, I am here for you no matter what, I love you no matter what. So important. Right. But taking the problem away for them. Not hopeful. They learn to then think that any negative emotion is amplified.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

14:01

I can’t. From a parent’s perspective, that’s the hardest of all.

• GW

Greg Weimer

14:05

Yep. Because you feel your. If you’re able. New times five. Yep. Like, if you’re filling it one. Like I’m filling it at five.

• GW

Greg Weimer

14:13

So. So, you know, and, like, I just want to make it go away. Like, make it go away. Yep. And so. So wait, summarize. Just go ahead, do it again.

• GW

Greg Weimer

14:22

Okay. So abcs, plus two. So we have accumulate positive experiences.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

14:26

We have build mastery. We have cope ahead. And then we have our plus two. So that’s communication. Big on empathy and listening. And then we have letting them fail with support. So as a nation.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

14:38

As a nation, if we could do that.

• GW

Greg Weimer

14:40

I don’t know if the 18% goes to two. I don’t know if it goes to 16, it can’t go up. If we’re doing the right things. And if nothing else, maybe we just have some stronger, more resilient, more resilient, less behavioral health issues in America. Now, having said that, and I have to say this, then we’re going to move on to that. But if, when you have a behavioral health issue, what are some things to look for? I also.

• GW

Greg Weimer

15:04

One of the things frustrates me about behavioral health. It’s like a pet peeve. We think it’s something that these children do to themselves. We think it’s like, we don’t say, like, you know, they’ll say, oh, they have everything in the world, why are they having behavioral health issues? You don’t say, like, they have everything in the world. Why do they have diabetes? Like, it makes me crazy.

• GW

Greg Weimer

15:22

The fact that, like, it’s almost like we act like it’s a deficiency, not a health issue. So it’s a health issue and we need to think about it like a health issue and stop acting like it’s some deficiency in this human being. They’re awesome, they’re wonderful, they’re unique. This happens to be the thing they struggle with. Yep. Yeah. Just as someone with a physical illness would struggle, it’s the same thing for mental health.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

15:44

I think another important statistic is that 10% of our happiness, only 10% of our happiness. Happiness comes from our life circumstances. So, like the money we have, the house we live in, the new clothes, the new car, 10% of our happiness. That’s only. There’s other things. Yeah, that’s interesting.

• GW

Greg Weimer

16:01

Okay, so now, because somewhere along the way, if there’s this many people thinking about children thinking about people, children thinking about suicide and actually committing suicide, And having. And you said earlier, which is heartbreaking. Suffering and silence. Right. They’re suffering and no one knows. And how lonely that would feel.

• GW

Greg Weimer

16:28

What are some of the people the loved ones around these children can do? Or what are some of the things that the people around these children can watch for? Can watch for. So you want to look for any changes. Right?

• MW

Maddy Weimer

16:41

So changes in appetite, so eating more or less than usual. You wanna look for changes in sleep. Then you also wanna look for feelings of isolation. So, like, pulling away from their friends. Naturally, in teenage years, that’s it. They’re gonna wanna sit in their ups and downs. Yeah.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

16:58

But at the same time, they’re probably still gonna wanna hang out with their friends.

• GW

Greg Weimer

17:02

So.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

17:03

I see. I happen to think sitting in the room thing is a bad thing. It’s not a great thing. Right.

• GW

Greg Weimer

17:07

We need a little space sometimes. I get it, but it’s not a great thing.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

17:10

So. Yeah. Careful how much you’re sitting here. Careful how much you’re isolating. It doesn’t make you feel better. Right? So isolating is a big one to look for excessive worrying about things like, it is not normal to be having a panic attack once a week.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

17:24

It’s not normal. I think it’s become normalized. It’s not. You shouldn’t be crying at school weekly. That’s not normal. Right. That’s when we seek more help.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

17:33

Something else is going on inside their head. Let’s see what other things. But if people were just aware of that because, you know, you. And there’s.

• GW

Greg Weimer

17:42

Oh, they’re in the room. Right. Or the crying at school or whatever the emotion. I mean, and I guess there’s moments of time you go through stuff like that. We all have times. Yeah, we all have those things. But just to be aware and almost just more in touch with what’s going on, it’s not normal.

• GW

Greg Weimer

17:56

It’s not normal. Yeah. Yeah. Mood changes is a big one as well.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

17:59

Yeah. Teenagers are moody, for sure, but there becomes a. What about physical stuff? Like, they start doing, I was gonna say. And then there’s the physical things. Right. So, like, you also have to look at the amount of teenagers that come to me and say they have stomach issues.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

18:14

Constant. Right. So, like, if there’s not, if you’re going to doctors and they’re not finding anything wrong, there’s probably mental health stuff going on that’s going on inside their head. Right. So we have, like, stomach issues, headaches, all of that stuff that’s going to be signs and that’s just from the stress in their world. Okay. Got it.

• GW

Greg Weimer

18:33

So now when something like that happens, hopefully, hopefully we’ve prevented it. But if we haven’t prevented it, we can identify it. Now that we identify it, I talk to parents all the time, and it doesn’t, it’s almost unanimous that when it happens, there is a feeling of where do I go? What do I do? I feel totally helpless. So what are some of the things a parent can do to help? Yeah.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

19:01

So I think one of the hardest worlds to navigate is the mental health world and finding a therapist, finding support, and when you’re in that moment, it’s urgent. Right. I need help. Yeah, you can’t. And, you know, access is hard, right?

• GW

Greg Weimer

19:12

So you call, you know, whatever you call a therapist, and it’s like, I can see you. I can see you, May. Yeah.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

19:20

We’re all working really hard to get in as many clients as we possibly can, but we’re. So many of us are at our limit, and we’re at our max, and we can’t see any more.

• GW

Greg Weimer

19:29

We can cut this out if you don’t want me to say it, but if you call for Maddie, where she works, they’re going to tell you she’s booked because you’re booked. But we’re going to put Madison’s. I call her Madison. The world calls her Maddie. So when you call her, she’s Maddie. But we’re going to put Madison’s contact information on our website attached to this, attached to this podcast. And by the way, for people who don’t know, our website is confluencefp.com

• GW

Greg Weimer

19:59

You go to our podcast. Imagine that. You’ll see the one that we’re doing today with Madison. You can look, and I’m gonna give you some other resources. Also, you can get Maddie’s contact information, and you know, she will best. She can not be booked. You don’t have to.

• GW

Greg Weimer

20:16

You don’t have to cut that out. But, yes, you can see my contact information if you contact me.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

20:21

I do my best to move my schedule around to get people in when they’re in need. So. You can always reach out and contact me. But, yeah, so if your child comes to you or your start, and by the way, this is not a plug to you at Madison business, she’s booked. I am booked. Yeah, I am booked. But I will do my best.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

20:35

But if your child comes to you, they’re struggling, or you’re noticing signs that they’re struggling, that’s when you sit down and you have a conversation and you say, I think we need more help, and then say, I am here for you and I want to find you someone. You say, I think we need. At that point, you think that you need to go find somebody.

• GW

Greg Weimer

20:54

It’s not like, hey, let smile in the mirror, or like, you know, no, that is at the point when we say, hey, I noticed some struggles going on, and let’s get you some extra support.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

21:03

Just as you said earlier of like, hey, I noticed your physical health is wavering a little bit. You seem to have a cold. Let’s go to the doctor. Same thing for mental health. I’m noticing some struggles going on. I’m going to find you extra support. Right.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

21:15

So then looking. You can look online as well of like, people that are going to fit for what you’re looking for, anxiety, all that kind of stuff. But then there’s also crisis of, like, we are in immediate need right now. My child is saying some things that are very concerning and I need support right now because they’re in immediate danger. And at that point, then we do have crisis numbers and support to help with that, like resolve. Resolve is great one.

• GW

Greg Weimer

21:41

Okay, so for, and we’ll put all this on our website, resolve. So this is if you have a crisis going on and, like, you’re afraid something bad is going to happen, it’s amazing how many people do not know resolve exists and resolve is 1888. You can. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah. 1888, you can.

• GW

Greg Weimer

22:03

I’ll give you the 1888-796-8226 yeah. Okay. So that’s resolved. So that’s resolved. And honestly, what resolve will do as well is if you’re really struggling and they need to come to you, they will.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

22:16

So they will. They will actually take a mobile team and send them to you if you need them to as well. So this is just a passion. And I’ve learned, I’m learning more and more about this. One of the wonderful things.

• GW

Greg Weimer

22:27

And hopefully the rest of people are listening to this. Outside of Pittsburgh have similar. But Pittsburgh has remarkable resources. They just appear to me to be somewhat disorganized and I don’t. They’re hard to find. They’re hard to find where to look for them. But Pittsburgh is blessed with incredible resources.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

22:44

Okay. So resolve.

• GW

Greg Weimer

22:45

Resolve is a great one. Every county has a different crisis number as well.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

22:50

So you can find your county’s crisis number and contact them as well. Okay. I do know that children’s, because I’m involved in children’s. It’s doing remarkable work.

• GW

Greg Weimer

22:59

In fact, we would encourage you, if you’re listening and you’re fired up about this, that we’re going to make a difference. Children’s is going to be a leader in helping in this issue. And, you know, so children’s has just started recently on the third floor, up to 18 years old. It’s a walk in clinic. So we have a behavioral health walk in clinic, so didn’t have that before. We have psychologists and psychiatrists embedded in the children’s pediatrician network through western Pennsylvania. So there are more and more resources.

• GW

Greg Weimer

23:37

We’ll put all of this, there’s whole child, which is a new concept. So we’re going to put all of this attached to this podcast. And I do actually have friends that work for children’s pediatrics as well as therapists.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

23:52

And they do a great job at initially, like resolving the crisis, and then they will find you someone that they think is really well suited to you as a therapist. So they can do a great job in getting you in with someone that’s going to be able to see your child long term. And I just know in talking to you and talking to others, a therapist is a personal thing.

• GW

Greg Weimer

24:09

It’s like dating is what we say. So it’s like dating that you kind of have to shop around and see who’s going to be best suited to you.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

24:16

Yeah. Yeah. Because I think some people go find a therapist, there’s not the connection.

• GW

Greg Weimer

24:22

And they say, I’m never going to get married. And it’s like, no, it’s like you have to find the right therapist that you’re comfortable having a conversation with. So I just worry that some people, I went to a therapist, it didn’t work. Yeah, you might have to try a few. You might have to try a few.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

24:39

It can be defeating and discouraging, but if you find the right one, it can be so special. So as a parent, don’t try to fix the problem on your own.

• GW

Greg Weimer

24:47

Don’t feel uncomfortable about going and getting help. Listen and communicate. And the good news is I find. I don’t know, maybe just because people know I care so much about this, I find more and more people. I think everybody should have a therapist. I agree. I think everybody should have a therapist.

• GW

Greg Weimer

25:03

And you have a coach for everything. You should have a therapist. But the good news is, I think the stigma of getting a therapist is definitely decreasing. I will say with the younger ones, teens, it’s trendy now. It’s cool.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

25:20

It’s trendy to have a therapist. So, like, it’s not gonna be this big, scary, like, thing that they have going on of, like, oh, my gosh, they’re seeing a therapist. No, it’s trendy. They all talk about their therapist. Their friends know my name, which is how it is. I guess I worry. Like, I know.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

25:37

Like, I just worry that it’s, like, I don’t want it to be trendy.

• GW

Greg Weimer

25:41

Do you know what I mean by that? Yes. But in the same way, they have someone to speak to, in some ways, I get it. I think it’s awesome. But it’s like, what’s not trendy is being mentally sick and having problems.

• MW

Maddy Weimer

25:51

What is trendy, though, is being open and honest about your feelings and having someone to support you through it. That’s cool. That’s awesome. And I think parents give your kids that gift. I mean, you may have a child.

• GW

Greg Weimer

26:04

Worst case scenario, contemplating suicide, potentially suffering in silence. And because in some cases, you believe there’s a stigma about going to get a therapist, you’re providing them the peace and happiness for the rest of their life. And so, like, get over it and get over it, and you may provide your child peace, or you may save their life. Mad, I got to tell you, I am proud of you. Thanks. I think what you do is amazing. I think it’s very necessary.

• GW

Greg Weimer

26:38

Hopefully today, with some of the nuggets you shared, we’re able to help somebody out there, and if it’s just one person, we’ve achieved our goal. So thank you so much. I really appreciate it, and you are a wealth of information. Thanks. Thank you.

Confluence Financial Partners — Considerations for Purchasing a Second Home | Season 2, Episode 4

Greg 00:04

Hello and welcome to the Imagine that podcast. I’m your host, Greg Weimer, founder, partner and wealth manager at Confluence Financial Partners. Each month, we’ll explore new ways to help you maximize your life and your legacy and meet some extraordinary people along the way. So if you’re looking to get more out of your life today and legacy tomorrow, let’s get started.

Katie
00:25
Hi, everyone. This is Katie Montagazzi, director of marketing here at Confluence. I’m sitting here with Greg. We were just talking about some topics that come up in conversation with clients and their families. And as of late, a lot of people are talking about buying a second home. And that sounds exciting, and it is. But as Greg’s going to share, there are a lot of pros, cons, things to think about, and we’re going to talk about that today.

 

Greg
00:51
Yeah, big decision. But I would just say what if. Fun decision, like enjoy the process. We’d be happy to help you facilitate that conversation with your family about a second home. We went through that two and a half years ago, so a lot of stuff to think about, though. I would really encourage you. I’ll just give some random thoughts, go to different places to make sure you really know where you want to be.

 

Greg
01:20
How often do you want to go there? We needed to be within 2025 minutes of an airport because we go in and out a lot, so that’s real important. Should you rent? Should you own some of these prices? I don’t know. Do you look at them?

 

Katie
01:36
Florida. That’s about it. But yeah, I look at crazy.

 

Greg
01:39
I look@realtor.com. Every morning to just check the prices. They’re really getting out to be outrageous. How about after you purchase the home, if you’re purchasing costs associated with the house, it is the most underestimated number of all the numbers, the carrying costs of homes. It’s just a lot. You usually have an hoa. You have to take care of it.

 

Greg
02:02
When you’re not there, things break. By the way, I don’t mind that we knew that going in, but I would argue for most people, the carrying costs are extraordinarily high. But I’ll be balanced on this. The carrying costs are extraordinarily high, but the moment you create with your family and the legacy you create. Spending time with your family. I’m just thinking of so many people that have done it, and I think they would almost all agree they are also very high. So you may look at it as a carrying cost, you may look at it as a price, but you also could look at it as an investment in your legacy.

 

Katie
02:44
Yeah, I was going to say, our mission is maximize lives and legacies. And a lot of times that means for people doing things now while you’re living with your family, to create the legacy once you’re gone. So I know for you and your family, that’s been the case for your second home.

 

Greg
02:56
Yeah. If you buy a stock, you get a dividend every quarter, and those dividends are awesome. And when you die, your family gets a stock. And by the way, we love portfolios. So we’re not saying put all your money in second homes. Let’s be really measured on this. But if you own a home or just a second place to go, or you go on vacations, whatever your thing is, you don’t get a dividend.

 

Greg
03:21
But you do get incredible experiences. And then your children get a home that they can sell in 20, 30, 40 years. So it’s not like you’re spending giving the money away. You’re still going to get it back. But there are opportunities. I would say, though, it’s not any fun if you’re stretching, for most people, it’s better to rent, because if you’re just going to go January, February, March, we don’t go that long. We have a couple of weeks at a time.

 

Greg
03:46
If going to go January, February, March, and you’re just going to go down three a lot of times. Renting, even for a month or two. Renting is by far financially, from a financial standpoint, a better decision. And both of them provide the incredible experiences. But you’re right, the carrying costs. Really high.

 

Katie
04:06
Yeah. And I’ve seen clients financial plans where we can put into the plan. We think it’s going to cost x amount of dollars per year on top of buying the house. And we can help you figure out the math of that, too. So it’s not just the logistics, but the math 100%.

 

Greg
04:21
Like, if you’re going to buy a second home, the most valuable reassuring thing to have is to make sure you have the certainty that that second home is not going to put you in a financial pinch, period. Absolutely. So we will model out the additional cost. We will model out how much it’s going to cost you to buy. We’ll model out all that and we’ll literally show you, can you comfortably buy it? Or maybe we would recommend renting or maybe wait a couple of years. But absolutely we can help you with the certainty of that decision.

 

Greg
05:01
I guess that’s the point. It is a big decision. There’s a lot to think about. But I hear a lot of people talking about second homes. Shoot, you go down to parts of Florida now it feels more like Pittsburgh. There’s so many people that travel back and forth. So it’s a wonderful opportunity to have that.

 

Greg
05:17
We love talking to family because at the end of the day and. Your portfolio is awesome, but your portfolio is awesome because it supports your life and your legacy. So if a second home is the right thing for you, we can help you come to that conclusion.

 

Katie
05:37
Thank you, Greg. That was an interesting conversation. And like we said in the beginning of the podcast, purchasing a second home has really become a hot topic for a lot of our clients. So if you want to start or continue the conversation, we’d be happy to do that with you. Thanks.

• Greg Weimer
• 00:04
• Hello, and welcome to the Imagine that podcast. I’m your host, Greg Weimer, founder, partner, and wealth manager at Confluence Financial Partners. Each month, we’ll explore new ways to help you maximize your life and your legacy and meet some extraordinary people along the way. So if you’re looking to get more out of your life today and legacy tomorrow, let’s get started. You. We have a really important topic today, and it’s it’s a megatrend. It’s a megatrend facing the families we serve.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 00:35
• It’s a megatrend facing the families in our country, and it’s a great opportunity. It’s also an incredible responsibility. And that is there’s $96 trillion that’s going to transfer to the next next generation. Unfortunately, some of those transfers will not go well, and the transfer will be viewed by the next generation as a burden and will cause controversy in a family and stress in other families. It will be a blessing. Our goal today is to give you, the listener, some ideas on how to make your family transfer your wealth in a way that it’s a blessing. So have two of my associates with me today.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 01:25
• One also happens to be my son, Gregory. And just to give you a little bit about their background, gregory’s a CFP. He’s a CPA. He’s also a certified exit planning advisor. I also have with me Randy holcomb. Randy’s a CFP, be, and he’s also the director of our wealth planning. So there’s a lot to think about in this transfer.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 01:47
• We pride ourselves in helping people maximize their lives and maximize their legacy. And by the way, there’s a balance to that, obviously, right? There’s a balance to how much of your legacy do you want to create while you’re living? How much do you want it to be inherited? Let’s open it up for a discussion. And obviously, we’re going to start with what do you want the money to do for you? What are your goals with this money?
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 02:13
• Next, we’re going to go into, like, okay, does an estate plan make sense? What are some things to think about in the state plan? How do you communicate it to your family, and then how often should you review it? They’re just some thoughts, right? And that’s just a general framework. So you, the listener, know where we are in this conversation. Let’s start out with goals.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 02:33
• So, Gregory, you work with a lot of families. Maybe give the listeners some things to think about as they’re and, Randy, you can chime in too, but Gregory, give them some things to think about on some of the things you should be thinking about when you put together your goals.
• GJ
• Gregory J Weimer II
• 02:50
• Yeah, and I think you started off with maximize life and legacy, and I think starting there is a perfect spot to start because it is a balance. And so as we’re talking about a wealth transfer, we immediately go to the unfortunate passing of one generation and passing that wealth to the next. But during the life also, how do you balance maximizing moments with your family that they’ll remember or getting involved with philanthropy or whatever is important to you, with your legacy also? So we work with a lot of clients to figure out, okay, with your planning, how much do you want to leave to the next generation? What does that mean for them? And maybe during their life, can you take that extra vacation to create memories? And a lot of times that’s important, and there’s ways we can have those conversations to really bring that out with families.
• GJ
• Gregory J Weimer II
• 03:36
• Maybe we can get into that later. But it is really interesting, and everyone does have different goals 100%.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 03:43
• And by the way, you would think you spent your whole life thinking about it. Right, but sometimes it’s really hard to articulate. And so, to your point, we can talk about a family meeting if you want and how we help families sort of decide what those goals are. But, you know. Maybe buying the second home is really not about how you’re living, but it’s also about the legacy. I unfortunately just came back from a funeral, and we’ve all been there. When you hear them talk about the person that has just passed and let there be no mistake.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 04:11
• They’re talking about the legacy that person’s already created. And it doesn’t have a whole lot to do with money. It has a lot to do with moments and how they live their life.
• GJ
• Gregory J Weimer II
• 04:21
• Normally, at that point, no one’s concerned about the money. The estate has to settle, right, and it has to get passed. But when you’re standing there, everyone’s thinking about the legacy of moments. So it’s a really important part of the wealth transfer. And we’re calling it wealth transfer, but it’s a bigger transfer than just that.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 04:38
• It is. And then when the wealth transfers, one of the things you have to consider is how much control do you want? So you’re gone. How much control do you want to make sure that money transfers the way you want it to transfer? The other thing that we should probably talk a little bit about in goals, I think it’s of the $96 trillion, there’s about 19 trillion that is expected to go to philanthropy. So how you want a charity that you really care about and make an impact on to be transferred to that charity is really important.
• RH
• Randy Holcombe
• 05:09
• I think it’s important to remember, too, that that 96 trillion is not all financial assets. A lot of its real estate, a lot of its businesses. So the goal depends on the asset. If it’s a business you’re passing on, that could be a whole different set of goals than money.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 05:23
• Yeah. 100% of the 96,000,000,000,001 3rd will be in financial assets. That leaves businesses. That leaves car collections. I know your goal may be for someone to really inherit that car collection because that’s what they always wanted, et cetera. The next generation may or may not want that. So you really need to make sure under the goals, that you think about how those things should be transferred.
• GJ
• Gregory J Weimer II
• 05:51
• Yeah. So every type of asset may be transferred differently also. But then even if it’s going to your children and even if it’s just financial assets, do they get it all upfront? Is it in trust? Is it not in trust? Are the beneficiaries right? Do they get it over a period of time?
• GJ
• Gregory J Weimer II
• 06:06
• There’s a lot of different language you can put into trust and estate documents to effectuate that, but you have to make sure you have the right team around you so that that’s set up upright or it could put a burden on the next generation if it’s not written the way you intended. Yeah.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 06:22
• I don’t want this to sound as self serving as it maybe is about to, but. It. You really need to make sure Your team of advisors is experienced in thinking through this. I mean, this is what we think through all the time with our families, whether it’s through exit planning, successions, whether it’s through philanthropy, whether it’s through helping them review Their trusts and their wills. I mean, all this stuff’s really important, and it has to really be a team. And so really spend time and ask yourself, do I have the right team of advisors? The acid test in this firm is I visualize I’m no longer going to be here maybe in 30 or 40 years.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 07:06
• And I want to make sure that this organization Is appropriately structured, that when my wife Is sitting in this office without me, that is here to make sure that our wealth, whatever we have, is transferred appropriately through our family. So our promise to you is we’re thinking through this. Our promise to you is we think about how to structure this family for our family and your family on a daily basis. So now that we think about the goals. Let’s think about the estate plan, because I think some misconception about estate plan. Oh, you have to have $30 million to think about that. It makes me crazy.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 07:45
• Randy, why don’t you touch on a little bit on why would you think about what documents you need, or do you need an estate plan?
• RH
• Randy Holcombe
• 07:53
• Yeah, so there’s several reasons. One is, like you said, some people do have the $30 million estate, and they are really concerned about taxes. So there are certain things you can do to minimize your taxes. But more often, and I don’t care if you have a million, 30 million, your family needs clarity on your estate plan, and you need to provide that. When you put the plan together, people will fight over just about anything. If you don’t make it clear the way everything’s supposed to flow, how it needs to go. And you talked about blessing versus burden.
• RH
• Randy Holcombe
• 08:26
• If they and have a clear picture of what needs to happen, it can shift quickly over to the burden side.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 08:32
• And when there’s a business involved. It gets a lot more.
• GJ
• Gregory J Weimer II
• 08:39
• Yeah. I mean, one thing that Randy said, too, is on taxes, and obviously we’re talking about estate taxes. I think even for those who don’t have a big estate, sometimes there are situations where there’s an inheritance tax that’s coming that you could do some planning around that may not be obvious to the naked eye right. But because of the situations, there’s a big one, and because we’re in Pennsylvania, one of the three states, or whatever it is that charges inheritance, this does happen. And that’s something because we’re focused on estate taxes and what the exclusion is, and the state’s not that big, it doesn’t mean there’s not going to be a tax.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 09:16
• And please understand that everybody’s like, well, I don’t have as much money as exclusion. You have no idea what the exclusion is going to be when you die. We know in the next two years. It’s over 20 million or $20 million. We get it. 22 million, whatever it is. Um.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 09:30
• But in 2026, it goes back down, and who knows where it is in ten or 20 years? So regardless of the assets, you have to be smart. We run it all the time. I just saw this week where you see in life insurance policies not owned by trusts, you see a lot of things happen that just could save the families if they’re meaningful means. We you and I have worked on some you look, and we could save them ten, $20 million in state tax, tens of millions. Yeah. It’s remarkable.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 10:03
• And unfortunately, I think people say that they’re going to do this stuff someday. Going to someday. I’m going to do it someday. And you could plan a lot of things. Your death isn’t one of those. So really getting on this stuff right away, and this is front and center. I mean, this is happening now, $96 trillion, and it’s frightening how many people are really not prepared for that moment.
• GJ
• Gregory J Weimer II
• 10:26
• Yeah. And I think it’s important with the communication and making sure you have the right team to make sure for your next generation there’s things you can do to make sure that when they do inherit wealth, whatever that number may be, they’re ready to live with that. And they know how to invest, they know how to plan. And so help them understand, help the next generation understand how to get started early investing so that it’s a seamless transition. And yes, the dollars are changing, but it’s not the first time that they’re seeing an investment statement go up or down and them accumulate wealth. And to the next generation, start early and do your own planning. If your parents or grandparents haven’t instilled that in you, it goes both ways.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 11:09
• And it helps when you do that planning along the lines how the next generation receives the money. I mean, you see, people say, I’m going to give them a third at 35, a third at 40, a third at 45. There’s another way to do it that you can make sure it goes on for multiple generations and you say they’re allowed to take a stream of income off that, but the principal goes on to the next generation. So then you, as the person passing on your wealth, has the comfort to know that your grandchildren and your grandchildren and I say that very deliberately, will benefit from your wealth over the long haul. So that’s also extraordinarily important. So one of the ways to start the conversation. On how to invest money and how to think about money.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 12:03
• Is philanthropy. Do you want to talk a little bit about, like, a donor advice fund, for example?
• RH
• Randy Holcombe
• 12:07
• Absolutely. So donor advice fund has become very popular in the last ten years, and essentially what that is, is you can make a donation to a donor advice fund. You get a charitable deduction. It’s just like giving to any other charity in that year. But then what you have is essentially a pool of assets that you can then direct to whatever charities you like. So it’s a great way. We have a lot of clients that will do that and use it as an opportunity to bring the next generation in on wealth conversations, because they say, hey, we have this pool of money that we’ve designated for our family to give to charity, and we want your input.
• RH
• Randy Holcombe
• 12:43
• We want to make these decisions as a family, so let’s talk about this.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 12:47
• And it’s a great entree into the financial conversations, so we actually can help you think about which charity you want to really participate in. If you need contacts at local charities, we can find out what you really care about and we can connect you with those charities and then we can talk to you about do you want to put it in your estate plan and do a planned gift? Do you want to do a donor advised fund? Do you want to contribute highly appreciated securities? Do you want to think about how to help children with education through EITC? There’s so many ways to do it and do it effectively. It’s a great conversation for families.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 13:25
• So let me back up, because I just want to recap, because then I think the next part for us to talk about is essential. Think about what you want your money to do, not only now, not only for your moments, but into the future, the next 1020 years, once you understand what it is you want to accomplish. Put together your documents to make sure that you’re doing that tax effectively so you’re not spending a bunch of money in estate taxes. And additionally, it creates clarity, which I promise you, we do this all the time. Your family wants clarity, so give them the benefit of having clarity. I remember saying to you about something you’re like, yeah, dad, that’s too vague. Make sure you clarify that.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 14:16
• I don’t want to think about that when you’re gone. And that’s just being honest. And that was you being honest, and I appreciated it. So we made it more clear. So please be clear. Your family will appreciate it. Your family has the ability right now to see the impact you can make over philanthropy, exit planning.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 14:34
• There’s so many things we could talk about. But then once you decide on your estate plan, the next essential part, because, remember, it doesn’t always work out well. 90% of money that’s inherited is squandered in the second generation. I’m sorry? 70% of the money that’s inherited is squandered in the second generation. 90% in the third generation. Don’t allow that to be your family.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 15:02
• The reason that happens is one, something we already talked about, and that is because of a lack of structure and estate plan. Second is because of lack of communication, so not communicating about it does not help the next generation. We just had a meeting this week, but all three of us participated. There were six, seven of us. Whatever there were. You want to talk a little bit about what that was?
• GJ
• Gregory J Weimer II
• 15:29
• Yeah. And then maybe, Randy, you can provide some clarity on this, because you’re the one kind of spearheading it. But we think family meetings are extremely important in sitting down with a family and allowing them to talk about their goals, the estate plan, charity, whatever is important to them to start to communicate those values now about what’s happening now and what’s going to happen in the future. So we’re working on some modules to allow families to have structure to that conversation. So we’re putting in the work behind the scenes to make those conversations easier with family, because not easy. They’re hard, especially the first one, and hopefully it gets easier over time in our family.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 16:08
• The second one is that.
• GJ
• Gregory J Weimer II
• 16:09
• Actually the yeah, and we were probably four in or something like that, and the topic’s a little bit different every time, but it’s important, and they’re helpful, and so I don’t think they need to be over engineered, and I think that’s something that probably holds families back. What am I going to talk about? What do I want to say? What’s the kid going to learn? Don’t over engineer it. We’ll do that for you and give you the information we need and simplify it. Randy, maybe you can mention in some of the modules we’ve put together well, we’ve done several, a lot of it.
• RH
• Randy Holcombe
• 16:38
• We’ve already talked about estate plan, legacy, charitable giving, investing, passing down some of the knowledge to the next generation. But we think there’s very few things that are more important than a family meeting. And if you talk to most clients and you say what’s important to you, if they have children, almost always that’s number one. And yet, despite that, a lot of times they have trouble bringing up the concept of their wealth. Wealth transfer. It’s not always a fun thing to think about, and you know how it is. If you’re uncomfortable with something, you’re less likely to bring it up.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 17:13
• I think they’re the most rewarding, enjoyable I love those meetings.
• RH
• Randy Holcombe
• 17:17
• They’re always great.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 17:18
• They’re always great. We’re fortunate in that most families, we serve multiple generations, so it would be unusual. There are cases, but it’s unusual that we work with the. Parents and not the children. That would be unusual. And regardless of the age of the children, we’re sitting in my conference room. There have been many 20 year olds and 25 year olds, including my daughters, in here, talking about how to invest whatever money they have so they can start to gain that knowledge.
• RH
• Randy Holcombe
• 17:48
• Absolutely. And just imagine yourself in a situation where your children are inheriting your money, and think of the difference. If they’re just inheriting it, they’re seeing all of it for the first time. They didn’t know how much was there. They didn’t know what all the accounts said. They didn’t know what the trust said. Imagine how difficult that situation is versus a situation where you’ve been meeting with them for the last ten years, and not only going through the structure of the estate plan, but you’ve been communicating your values, you’ve been communicating what’s important to you.
• RH
• Randy Holcombe
• 18:16
• You’ve been building a legacy as a family. And so that when the time comes for them to inherit it, it’s just a natural next step as opposed to a jarring event. Yeah.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 18:26
• We’ve had, what, four?
• GJ
• Gregory J Weimer II
• 18:27
• Yeah, I think we have four in.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 18:29
• Yeah. So I tell you that it’s really important. It’s important to do it, and we enjoy it.
• GJ
• Gregory J Weimer II
• 18:39
• One of the tools that has been used in a lot of family meetings, we’ve used it just in some client meetings also, that, I think, just gives an example of. Outside of what does my estate plan say? What’s my net worth and what could be passed down? Right? If that’s what you get into. But the other thing that is really important that people really enjoy are the picture cards. And many of you have probably heard us talk about them before, but it’s just a deck of cards with pictures on them.
• GJ
• Gregory J Weimer II
• 19:03
• And it allows every member of the family to pick out what’s important to them. And it gives people way to share their values. And so you really start to learn what’s important to the family. Do people start picking something that reflects philanthropy? Is it about vacations? But back to the beginning of Maximize Life and legacy. This can help with that.
• GJ
• Gregory J Weimer II
• 19:24
• This can make the family realize we want to do a donor advised fund and give to. Charities with animals. This could be we love vacations, and we want to spend time making memories now with vacations, whatever it may be. It’s one of the parts of one of the modules that is almost always in one of the first family meetings.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 19:44
• It is so much easier to find the picture that speaks to you than find the words that claire so these pictures is what, 100 cards or something like that? Probably. You pick three or four. Everybody picks three or four. You compare them, you talk about them, and it really does create a wonderful dialogue. I know our family enjoyed it. And by the way, I feel like family meetings, like, overdoing it, right.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 20:07
• All we’re doing is really we’re facilitating a family conversation. So, like, in our family, I sent them out, like, hey, here’s ten things we could talk about. What do you think? So we picked two, and we talked about philanthropy, and we talked about trust, and every year We’ve talked about something different. But it’s really just facilitating a family conversation. So everybody’s on the same page. So wonderful.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 20:36
• It. The goals are important. We can help you through that. Also to say, hey, here’s some things to think about. The estate plan is critical. Find the right attorney. We’ll put you in touch with some attorneys that we think match your personality.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 20:50
• So we work with a lot of different attorneys. We’ll find one that matches your personality. Our job is to make sure your goals come alive in those documents. US. Because so many times there’s a disconnect there, even when you find someone that matches your personality. So we’ll go through the documents they created and we’ll bullet point it for you, saying, hey, this is what the documents say. Is this what you expected them to say?
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 21:16
• Sometimes it is, yes, sometimes not. Also, from a communication standpoint, we would love to help you to facilitate those family conversations. So what did we miss, guys? Anything that you think would help the listeners of.
• RH
• Randy Holcombe
• 21:34
• I think one thing is that we should think about, and we talked a little about businesses, but if you do have assets that are a little bit different coin collection, classic cars. Think through that. You can carve out something special in the estate. Plan to deal with those. If it’s a coin collection, for example, don’t make your children go out and find some way to sell those coins. If you have relationships with people, write that in there. Just make it real clear.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 22:00
• Yeah. We have both of those issues right now. Right? Yes.
• GJ
• Gregory J Weimer II
• 22:06
• That? No, I think if we’re summarizing two words, I just say that are really key are communication and organization. I think communicating amongst generations is really important and we’ve talked about some ways to do that. And I think organization is also key. Some of that comes from the estate plan and the documents. Some of it comes from your assets not being all over the place. Maybe we didn’t get into businesses too much, but if you’re a business owner, it what happens, right?
• GJ
• Gregory J Weimer II
• 22:34
• If something happens to you, who does it get passed down to? Is there a next generation ready in the business? And that may not mean family next generation, that could just be next generation. But how do you get bought out? Are the business documents in place? What does your estate plan say? If you have one person in the business, one family member in the business and no one else, what happens?
• GJ
• Gregory J Weimer II
• 22:55
• How do you communicate that? So there’s a lot there. And so that’s part of organization of make sure all of your ducks are in a row. So that there’s no surprises or stress when that day comes.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 23:06
• They buy you out, right? I mean, how do they buy you out? You have three kids, one’s in the business, the other two aren’t. How do you make that not equal but maybe fair, all of those things. And we can help you think through that. And by the way, the time to think about succession planning in your business and exit planning is 15 years before you do it because that next generation needs to be prepared. So it’s absolutely seamless.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 23:36
• We actually are entering and no one’s going anywhere, but things happen. Every key a person, we just went through this table recently, every key person, if they get hit by the bus, are we ready for that? Just to make sure we’re overly prepared. But in family, that’s also true. So really thinking when you think through the amount of businesses that are going to go, the next generation, there’s the people that will be ready, there’s the people that won’t be ready, and there’s a group that don’t want them. So to really think through how you’re in some families, that’s their biggest asset. So making sure that transfers effectively is huge.
• GJ
• Gregory J Weimer II
• 24:18
• Yeah. And if you’re the business owner, do you know the number of what at a minimum you would need to receive from the business? And that gives you some flexibility in understanding an internal transfer to the next generation. Or how would family buy me out? Or selling to a third party? That can change. I mean, if all of your wealth is wrapped up in that and you want to retire, you probably need a certain number to maintain your lifestyle.
• GJ
• Gregory J Weimer II
• 24:41
• So plan for that early so you’re not surprised when that day comes.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 24:45
• So two things just the importance of getting started and then let’s talk a little bit about the importance of review. But I really think it’s important for everyone to just hear that the biggest obstacle to having a good estate plan is the expectation of having a perfect estate plan. So get it started and then understand that from time to time, you may want to review it.
• GJ
• Gregory J Weimer II
• 25:11
• Yeah, I mean, you’re so right. The estate plan can change in most cases. The documents can change. As life changes, so can the documents. You may add a trust, you may change beneficiaries, you may change guardians. It can change. And so there’s nothing making it permanent in most cases.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 25:30
• It’s really important to get it started. If you don’t, you’re putting your family at risk and the government’s going to benefit at some point, and you’re not going to have clarity. As Randy was talking about earlier, I’m actually on my fifth reinstatement, so that’s not unusual. I’m on my fifth reinstatement of my plan, and our life changes. Fortunately, our family’s growing, so our situation changes.
• RH
• Randy Holcombe
• 25:52
• And there’s different things I’m sure most of you have heard irrevocable versus revocable trust. Revocable is obviously easier to change, hence the word irrevocable versus revocable. But either one, there’s different things you can do depending on how it’s set up. So, like Greg said, the important thing is get it started. I think. Another thing you say a lot is it’s what it’s like 100 pounds of pressure to get the locomotive moving. Only 20 pounds of pressure to keep it moving, so get it moving, and then you can always adjust it from there.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 26:23
• Totally agree. Be. Thanks, guys. Appreciate it. And hopefully, our gift to you, and we look forward to working with you on these conversations, but hopefully our gift to you is your wealth. Your part of that $96 trillion will be transferred as a blessing, and you will avoid it being a burden on the next generation. So for the families that we are privileged enough to serve, we look forward to being on that journey with you to help you make that succession of wealth successful.
• GW
• Greg Weimer
• 26:54
• For those of you that we don’t currently work with you, if you think we would be the right advisors for your family. We would welcome the opportunity to continue the conversation. Thank you.

 

Greg  0:03  

Hello and welcome to the Imagine That podcast. I’m your host, Greg Weimer, founder, partner and wealth manager at Confluence Financial Partners. Each month, we’ll explore new ways to help you maximize your life and your legacy. And meet some extraordinary people along the way. So if you’re looking to get more out of your life today, and legacy tomorrow, let’s get started. I’m Greg Weimer, and I’m here with Sarah. And Sarah has joined us. What about three months? How long? Yeah, June 1, new, new unusual associate. So that’s why it’s gonna be fun. So Sarah is a dietitian with Confluence. And that was a new thought for us. Probably not totally new in the industry, but a new thought for us. And we knew we wanted to hire a dietician for a while, actually, in fact, if you go back and listen to one of our older podcasts, you know, we were interviewing Dr. Mary Lamb. And she just said the words wealth and health and I’m like, okay, wealth and health. That’s so cool. So, we hired Sarah, to help with our clients’ health. We understand we’re 100% focused also on wealth. But Sarah is a dietitian, and Isaiah and her daughter, Addy, and he’s, what, six months now? Fresh six months, so yes. So we knew we wanted the dietician. But when we found Sarah, it became a lot easier of a decision. So welcome. We’re delighted you’re here. I think first because when we were going through the interview process, one of the things that I was very confused about was like, There’s dietician, there’s dieticians. There’s nutritionists like, and I’m like trying to figure out everybody’s just to make sure you have the right person, not only from a culture standpoint, but from a credential standpoint. So if you could just spend a couple minutes or a couple of just telling us what’s the difference between a dietitian and a nutritionist?

 

Sarah  1:49  

Yeah, so that’s a really common question I get asked a lot. So nutritionists, that’s not like an accredited term. So anyone could really call themselves a nutritionist, you could take some courses online, get some certificates. So it’s not to downplay the knowledge that can be there. But dietitian, there’s credentials behind my name. So kind of the process to go through as you get a bachelor’s degree, you do a coordinated program, which is like a supervised practice for so many hours, and then you sit for the national exam. And then once you pass it, you get credentials, and then you have to keep up on continuing ed. So it’s a very, like, regimented process. Yeah, it just, it has a process to Wonderful.

 

Greg  2:33  

Okay, so you’re credible, we got it, let’s go. So our goal, actually, of this podcast, is we’re not going to change the world. But holy cow, if we could bend the curve, our goal here is just if we could just help people make more informed and therefore better decisions around their health and more specifically, around their diet. So if right, let’s try to do that together. And if we think about the mission of Confluence being maximizing people’s lives and legacies, it’s really hard for us to think about maximizing someone’s life, if we don’t help them also with their health. So for us, it makes total sense. So let me just go through a couple things. Because for one of the things I find, it’s complicated. Like I hear keto diet, Paleo Diet, water’s good, intermittent fasting. So we’re gonna have to get overly detailed, but let’s unravel some of those. So when you think about like paleo, keto, that type of stuff, what goes through your head? What advice do you have for folks?

 

Sarah  3:41  

Yeah, that’s a good question. So there’s, you know, like anything because of the internet and technology, like there’s so much information out there. I think when it comes to nutrition, for most people, like getting back to the basics, you know, maybe it’s not super sexy, but the food groups have, you know, your whole grains, your dairies, your fruits, vegetables, proteins, I think eating a mix of all those foods for most people is going to be what keeps you healthy, those foods have the nutrients that our bodies need, that we can’t create on our own, to give us energy to get to give us energy to help us get through our data to have that kind of capacity. So not processed stuff. Yeah, so not processed, the more food that we can consume and whole form back to its natural state is going to be better for us. There’s a lot of food additives. Now, that can really influence like our energy levels give us energy crashes, provide a lot of inflammation in the body. So as far as like, okay, the keto diet, Paleo like looking at those individually, you know, those have been researched. Those can have some success. I think it really depends on the individual what’s actually realistic for their lifestyle, telling someone like keto to consume predominantly fat If that can be done well, and you can get into ketosis and burn fat, but it could also be done really poorly and ended up hurting your health, making it more difficult to take weight off it. So it kind of depends what your what your goals

 

Greg  5:13  

are. So here’s the so let’s do let’s do, let’s do specific goals that sure someone is in business or in life or a mom or a dad and they want to be at, you know, their peak performance for the day. Yeah. Because you said, you said you know, sugar crashes and stuff like that. We don’t want that. We don’t want that in conflict. We don’t want that with our clients. We don’t want that in the world. So like, give me an ideal scenario. Yeah, I wake up. What do I eat? When do I eat carbs? window window, a protein? Just you know, I mean, just just a quick overview of what like a perfect day would look

 

Sarah  5:44  

like? Yeah, yeah. So it’s a good question. So I would say the perfect day would be that you are waking up drinking water. You’re staying hydrated right off the bat. So nighttime cups of coffee right away. Maybe some I would wait on that. Maybe water first. Yeah, and change. Water first. If you can, a glass of water. Just start the hydration process and then drinking your coffee. If you can drink it black, that would be the best recommendation. And then some people

 

Greg  6:12  

no matter how much coffee I drink, so I don’t know how to get through the day. I’ll promise a bit like a bit like Yeah, so like a pot could be too much. Yeah,

 

Sarah  6:21  

I think different. Like we all have different probably caffeine like tolerances. But does that count as a fluid. Yeah, so that’s good. But yeah, I would say for the normal person, focusing on your carbohydrates, like in the morning and daytime, that’s when our body is most primed to like process like what

 

Greg  6:38  

does that mean? So like, what? Like, what is what so what do we do you do eggs in the morning? Do you like to do eggs and bacon? A lot of these breakfast bars? How do you know like which one to eat? Which one not to eat? Yeah. Right, because they all are marketed to be healthy.

 

Sarah  6:51  

Right? Right. What do you look for so Okay, let’s kind of over like, let’s go back to simplifying it. So I would say with each meal, if you could eat a balance of your focus is protein. So protein foods, that’s going to be your eggs. That’s gonna be your meats like chicken, pork, beef, all the animal products. And so if you can kind of surround your plate with that is like the centerpiece focus that’s going to keep you balanced Protein helps keep you fuller longer. So if you can make that the star of the show every plate, then you’re off to a good start. So your protein foods like breakfast, specifically, big fan, big fan of eggs. Some people don’t love it, then you could go like Greek yogurt. But as long as that is your focus, and you can kind of surround it with some natural carbs. I’m talking like fruits, veggies, that would be ideal. Not everyone is doing that in the morning. Yeah, veggies. Okay. Yeah, but you can also do things you know, that add fiber, like, which is fruits, veggies, but also like your flax seeds or chia seeds if you’re making a smoothie. So in the morning time you want something that’s going to keep your energy balance. Okay, so as opposed to grabbing a croissant or like a muffin, bad, bad. processed food packaged food. Because really what that’s gonna do, right, it’s gonna, it’s just going to taste good, but it’s going to spike your blood sugar, which usually when our blood sugar is spiked, we feel jittery. And then it’s gonna crash, and then we’re gonna be hungry again. Yeah.

 

Greg  8:25  

For all the business owners out there. Or, or, you know, mom, dad, I guess in your homes. One of the things we have Sarah doing in our firm is going through our kitchens and making sure that we’re not having crashes through the day and you can be crisp. So you’re redoing our snacks, right? Tell me about lunch. Here’s Yeah. How about that? How about our conversation about the wrap? Yeah, the wrap was bad news. Yeah, I’ll come clean on this. Here’s my view. My view is we started with the salad. Yeah, healthy right. Then if you wanted to be a little less healthy, you went to a wrap? And then if you wanted to be totally healthy, ate like bread in a sandwich or something? Yeah. So what we found was a wrap in a sandwich. You don’t like this, but it’s equally bad.

 

Sarah  9:14  

So what we’ve been talking about Yeah, I don’t know if we’re not agreeing. It depends on the type of person so like, carbs get a bad rap, like, um, you know, rice, bread products, pasta, all that. It’s because those break down quickly in our body to sugar, we want to use that as quick energy. If we’re not using that as quick energy, then it’s just stored for later. And that’s how we can put on weight. So we just want to make sure we’re balancing those kinds of carb foods with high protein foods that take longer to digest and break down they’re actually keeping us full. So what we were talking about was like, if it’s a whole grain than that is in its full form, so it’s not been processed. So there’s more nutrients to it. There’s more fiber to it. Um, so I would absolutely pick a whole grain wrap. Especially you’re putting like salmon in, right? Like, that’s excellent. Yeah. And then you can fill a rap with vegetables, you know, hummus, like it

 

Unknown Speaker  10:10  

just sounds easier not to have a wrap. Yeah. Well,

 

Sarah  10:13  

if you’re, if you’re satisfied without the wrap, okay, but like, don’t be afraid of the wrap. Don’t be afraid.

 

Greg  10:18  

And then dinner. So like, we were talking about carbs? Not as, like, be careful at dinner, correct? Yeah,

 

Sarah  10:27  

So the theory kind of getting in a little bit behind that is like, our bodies have circadian rhythms, we have a natural process that regulates our hormones that we like that the body prefers to thrive off of. So during the daytime, that is really, there’s a lot of signaling, from daylight, Sunshine like that. This is when our body processes food.

 

Greg  10:49  

We in fact, an allergy. Like we actually had someone come in and speak to our farmer about how to slow dementia and lowering your ability, your chances of getting it. And one of the he He’s incredible. And one of the things he said is important is in the morning, it’s really important to get like natural sunlight. Yeah, in the morning. Yeah, not in natural sunlight. So So yep, exactly.

 

Sarah  11:10  

So kind of going off that, like our bodies have a preferred time to process energy. So there’s something called insulin, that’s a hormone that helps the sugar get inside of ourselves to make energy. So in the evening time, our body is less insulin sensitive. So what that means is that we’re just not going to process it as well. So we probably should not be eating as many carbs in the evening, we’re, a lot of people were more sedentary, you know, you’re getting ready to go to bed. So, you know, going back to like, your plate should be surrounded by like a protein as the centerpiece and then fruits, vegetables, and then like complex carbs. Like if you want to add in some like potatoes, or some like Keane was something like that. But the closer that you can get to those types of like, eat more of these foods, the better.

 

Greg  12:02  

And don’t eat after when like, yeah, like, what time at the in the evening? Should you stop eating?

 

Sarah  12:08  

Yeah, that’s a good question. So going back to like, it has to be realistic for the person to make sense for their lifestyle. But I would say like, if you can have a cut off time of around like seven o’clock at night, that would be really good for your body. Yeah, yeah.

 

Greg  12:23  

So it’s been so much fun to have you around, because I could have like, Hey, Sarah, how about this? Like, Hey, Sarah, how about this? Hi, Mickey. Yeah, hey, sir. How about this? It’s been wonderful. One of the things we talked about is, how about intermittent fasting? You’re hearing all about it. And then I heard you say earlier in the conversation about inflammation, and how it can actually, you know, I’ve heard that intermittent fasting can help reduce inflammation in your body. Is that true?

 

Sarah  12:46  

Yeah, so I’m a big fan of intermittent fasting. There has been a lot of research surrounding it. So it’s not just another fad diet, fasting has been around since the beginning of time, you know, whether, you know, not not out of, like luxury, but more of necessity, really, like in our western civilization, like we’re eating around the clock bodies, we really don’t need that we’re really over fueling ourselves for what we need. So that is contributing to the obesity epidemic. And so essentially, intermittent fasting, it can take a lot of different forms, the most popular one is probably the 16 Eight approach, which is choosing 16 hours within the 24 hours of the day, that you’re going to fast and then there’s going to be an eight hour eating window. So a lot of people include in their fasting time, you know, sleeping, so it might actually be eight hours that you’re awake, that you’re just refraining from food.

 

Unknown Speaker  13:41  

So it’s not that bad. So you skip breakfast. It’s

 

Unknown Speaker  13:43  

not bad. Yeah, it’s depending on how you set it up. So

 

Greg  13:45  

set it up you you skip breakfast, and you go from you eat lunch and dinner, right as long as you’re done by Right, right.

 

Sarah  13:51  

And there’s, there’s ways to do it wrongly, but kind of just to get into it. Like, I like to say that the body is really smart. Some people think that like refraining from food, you’re going to go into like fat storage mode, the body’s going to, you know, freak out and turn on itself, that’s really not the case. The research that I’ve seen is that it can really be beneficial. When we are putting in food in our body for energy, the body creates energy to utilize. And then once those stores are used up or used up, that’s when you start getting into like the fat burning mode. So depending on the timeframe, usually 16 hours fasting won’t get you into like anything like ketosis, anything like that. But that is kind of like a good reset for the body that it can not be stimulated by that insulin hormone, like we said, and therefore not kind of like build up the fat stores. So we’re not stimulating insulin when we’re not putting food in

 

Greg  14:47  

right. What I appreciate about the way you the way you think about this is you have a realistic approach. Like in talking to you it’s not you’re not an extremist of every bread, and it’s like hey man, if you want pizza It like, don’t be afraid of the pizza. Yeah, right. Which which is, which is wonderful just to just to let our listeners understand how we’re going to be using stairs, knowledge and ability inside of Confluence is right now she’s working on content, you’re probably seeing some of that content online, that’s been very valuable. She’s going to be working with our associates internally, to make sure that we, you know, we perform for our clients at a high level, and then we’re going to start doing some lunch and learns so so you’ll start seeing some lunch and learns where we’ll invite you know, clients and friends into our into our offices. And we’ll have, we’ll have just, you know, just some, some five things you need to know about eating in the summertime, or how to eat fast food healthy, or whatever that is, or maybe we’ll dig into some local restaurants, menus. And you can say, like, Hey, if you’re gonna go out to eat in the South Hills, or North Hills, whatever, here’s what you should eat. And then ideally, we would like to make Sara available to some of our clients also, on an individual basis, so that’s the thought process behind it. So a lot of stuff on diet. We didn’t touch on what I asked, like, how do you know cuz I know, I brought in my breakfast bar for you. And you’re like, Yeah, you’re good, even though you sort of made fun of the taste a little bit. But you looked at certain things. So if you’re out there and you’re looking at a breakfast bar, what are the numbers they should look at? And what should they be?

 

Sarah  16:25  

Yeah, that’s a good question. So in full disclosure, I did make fun of it, you did, and I’m sorry, I felt really bad afterwards, I gave it to you. So there’s a time and place for breakfast bars, I get it like I’m a super on the go person, like that’s easiest to grab. When you’re looking for a breakfast bar, just like protein bar in general, I would recommend at least 10 grams of protein, I don’t think it’s worth it. To do any less than that, you’re going to want to always look at the ingredient list to see just how many like additives. You know, chemicals are in it. And you know that, yeah, so it’s gonna be really weird names that like you might have trouble pronouncing. So you want to look for more like natural ingredients that you can pronounce. So one of the the bars that I’m really on a kick of right now, or those are x bars that have those four natural ingredients just really compressed together. It has like dates, maybe like walnuts, chocolate, and you know something. So if you’re eating a bar that just has a ton of chemicals in it, your body is probably not going to know what to do with that. So it would be more advantageous to get the nutrient density of that protein. What about like fats and stuff? Like you know, they what percentage of fat should the bar have? Yeah, so I don’t know about percentage. But if the bar can focus on there’s, there’s different types of fats that are more beneficial. So you want fat and the dye is helpful for keeping us fuller longer, it’s the most energy dense macronutrient we have protein, carbs, fat, it’s going to keep you fuller. So we really want to avoid saturated fat as much as possible. Mono on saturated fat is good. So mono comes from like olive oils, avocados, walnuts, and then saturated fat is what contributes kind of to heart disease. So,

 

Greg  18:16  

so bad. Okay, so here we go. So we talked about the meals. What are the healthy snacks? Yeah, so like, like, if someone’s saying, Yeah, that’s great. But like, I need a snack. Yeah, so what, let’s go through some snacks. So if you just like instead of maybe the Doritos, and this and these things, that long term, you know, may stop you from enjoying your life later on. What are some of the healthy snacks that we could that we could have?

 

Sarah  18:44  

Yeah, so depending on your goals, like if you’re trying to lose weight, or like, if you’re just trying to be healthier, I would just always recommend when you’re choosing a snack, like just be mindful of what you’re choosing, like you said Doritos, like, the bag of chips. Like that’s really not going to get you anywhere in terms of hunger and like satiety. So, I think always having a well rounded snack and what I mean by that is, so like, if you’re go ahead and do a whole fruit so like an apple that’s gonna have good fiber in the skin, a lot of good nutrients,

 

Greg  19:21  

a little bit of an apple. So we got to do something.

 

Sarah  19:25  

Okay, it’s coming. So an apple would be great, but also combine that with with like a hard boiled egg or a beef stick

 

Greg  19:34  

and tell him about when you came in for an interview. The hard bone oh

 

Sarah  19:37  

my gosh, this was amazing. I was like who is interviewing? Yeah, oh, okay. So yeah, we were just like walking around the building after I interviewed and gosh, I’m gonna butcher this it was something like you you really like hard boiled eggs.

 

Greg  19:57  

First of all, let’s just acknowledge making a hard boil. bag perfect is really difficult really difficult. Just acknowledge that. So yeah, so we had some hard boiled egg makers here we gave everyone in the firm a hard boiled egg maker, which is incredible by the way best advice you’re gonna get on this podcast ever hard a boiled egg. Everything I’m saying they make them perfect their partner perfectly put together so anyhow so hard boiled eggs. We love them. We have them in our offices so great to have hard boiled eggs in the fridge. What else?

 

Sarah  20:29  

Yeah, yeah. So yeah, combining those things together. I would say like we’ve talked about before. If you could do veggies like raw veggies with hummus Yeah, so we talked about what was it carrots and celery? Yeah.

 

Greg  20:43  

And is it like there’s so many I felt like there’s all different flavors of hummus doesn’t matter. Like hummus was good.

 

Sarah  20:48  

Yeah, so hummus or hummus is like ground chickpeas. It’s a Mediterranean. Yeah, some people don’t like chickpeas on their own Mediterranean side that has some oil in it. I don’t know that any is better than other there’s garlic there’s red pepper. Yeah, yeah.

 

Greg  21:03  

And like nuts. Like which ones are good? Which ones are bad? Are they all good? Like

 

Sarah  21:11  

yeah, so nuts have the good fats as mono unsaturated so a handful of knots is usually equivalent to like an ounce. There was actually a study I was reading that it was like for people who are consuming at least five ounces of like mixed nuts per week. It decreased their cardiovascular disease risk by like 30% Like it was huge just by adding those in but with that being said, like walnuts are going to be really good source of Omega threes, which are anti inflammatory and actually really help your brain health. Which is important with aging and cognitive function just staying on your game. So walnuts are great pistachios, almonds. The higher like density like calorie nuts would be peanuts and like cashews, which don’t have as many benefits but are so good.

 

Unknown Speaker  22:00  

Yeah, your face was like not as impressive. Yeah,

 

Sarah  22:02  

I would just say like, if you can do the unsalted and like be like note weld or like, okay, those kinds of things, keeping them natural. That would be a really good

 

Greg  22:12  

use. We’re gonna do I’m gonna give you a little warning, rapid fire sort of so like, if I were listening, I would want to know Okay, that’s all great. I got it. I got it. I got it. I think I got I got framework or my day, sleeps really important. We talked about that. We talked about that in another podcast, measure your sleep sleeps important. It’ll keep you healthy. But now give me we’re gonna go through five things bullet points, if I could only do five things. If I right, just like give me the five things you would do. If you’re thinking about our listeners. Yeah, you’re driving down the road. like, Alright, give me some homework. So we’re gonna do five things that you think they should do one?

 

Sarah  22:46  

Yeah. What can I just say this is really focused on nutrition. But you know, we’ve talked about like health. Yes. Is encompassing like you said, sleep stress management, physical activity. So plans. We talked about that quote, Oh, yeah. And he therapy too. There’s so much to talk about.

 

Greg  22:59  

Because you want to get your Nobel Prize. Yeah. Yeah, right. We that’s like the rage.

 

Sarah  23:07  

Yeah, there’s, there’s some benefits to that. I don’t know that. There’s a lot of research to that.

 

Greg  23:13  

I want someone to figure it out. For sure. Before I do that, I do too, which sounds horrible. I gotta know for sure. But by the way, we should say consult your physician. We’re not trying to give medical advice. Thank you. Intermittent Fasting is not for everyone. If you’re allergic to peanuts, we’re not suggesting them. So talk to your physician. They’re just giving you things to think about. That’s

 

Sarah  23:33  

a really good disclaimer. Thank you. So I would say the five things for someone just looking to improve their overall health. Really back to the basics of like, make sure you’re staying hydrated, drink enough water that’s going to help your kidneys flush the toxins out of your body. There was something else that I read that it’s like, you know, low grade dehydration can be really like unnoticed, like symptomless, but that can actually shrink like your brain cells. And overtime like we do something like dementia. So it’s really important to stay hydrated. So that’s one thing. I would say if you can get in 30 minutes of movement per day, like concentrated movement walking, that’s going to be great. As far as nutrition goes, we talked about like, building your play. The

 

Greg  24:17  

one thing that this individual said that we were that we brought in to talk about dementia. He said the same thing. He said like you got to like move 30 minutes a day and he said if you could only do one thing, just one thing. Yes. A dance. Yeah. Why do you have a dance? He said because it’s stress relief. It’s exercise. It’s music, blah, blah, blah. So we got water. We got exercise. How many am I doing? 555 you got five. Oh, I don’t want to do 10 things.

 

Sarah  24:44  

Man I was gonna struggle there. So yeah, the third thing would be Yeah, surround your How did I want to word it? Make make protein the star of your plate protein. Yeah. So every eating occasion. You Eating foods that are high in protein to keep you fuller longer, and to keep your blood sugar stable. I would say that and then number four would be, I would say monitor your alcohol intake. Really? Yeah.

 

Unknown Speaker  25:18  

Can we have a different one? Yeah, I totally agree.

 

Sarah  25:23  

Right? Yeah, that’s, that’s a sneaky one. So alcohol is enjoyable as it is, you know, there’s not, it’s not very nutrient dense. It’s, it’s, you know, kind of empty calories. So, it can also like alter your sleep and just kind of the body, it’s processed in the body as a toxin. So just kind of,

 

Greg  25:45  

if you if you drink, you can’t burn fat for some period of time, because your liver is actually working to get rid of the toxin.

 

Sarah  25:52  

Yeah. Yeah, it’s true that so the liver prioritizes, breaking down the toxin, which I think the active ingredient is ethanol, which the body just doesn’t know what to do with so it breaks it down. And then that means that your the food that you ate with alcohol was further delayed. So if you drink alcohol in the evening, like most people do, that’s going to give you that overnight time to digest your food, which is probably going to lead to some crappy sleep.

 

Greg  26:18  

Yeah, well for me if I if I would drink like beer or wine, I fall asleep and then at two o’clock, I wake up because sugar kicks in. Yes, that’s bad. Wait, so what did we have we had

 

Sarah  26:28  

drink water, drink water, getting in 30 minutes a move 30

 

Greg  26:32  

minutes and movement? Proteins, this protein is the star more protein Hmm. Be careful how much you drink, moderate

 

Sarah  26:39  

your consumption, right. And then I would say the fifth thing is really try and cut out artificial sweeteners as much as possible. So that’s like in drinks. That’s, that’s kind of like sneaky. And like syrups of coffees. It’s in packaged snacks. So I guess what, that’d be checking your food labels and just try to, as much as possible consume the whole food version of snacks.

 

Greg  27:07  

Wonderful. Yeah. Well, we look forward to benefiting from you. We look forward to our clients benefiting from you. And as we were talking about, you know, what’s the goal? What’s the ultimate goal? Clearly, we want to help people maximize their lives and legacies. And we really do believe that helping them with their health is a big part of that. And God willing, someday you’ll be in the mall. And someone will say, Sarah, thank you. You really helped me make some great decisions and because of that, I’m leading a healthier life and a more full life. So we appreciate you. This is gonna be fun. Thanks. Thank you.

 

Greg: Hello and welcome to the Imagine That Podcast. I’m your host Greg Weimer, founder, partner, and wealth manager at Confluence Financial Partners. Each month, we’ll explore new ways to help you maximize your life and your legacy and meet some extraordinary people along the way. So if you’re looking to get more out of your life today and legacy tomorrow, let’s get started.

Katie: Welcome everybody. Welcome Greg. I want to take this time to just introduce who we are. I’m Katie Montagazzi, director of marketing here at Confluence and Greg Weimer, CEO. So we just want to welcome everybody. We have taken a little time off from the podcast and we wanted to share what we’re talking about internally here and what we’re thinking about at Confluence. So that being said, we have taken a lot of time to say our mission is maximizing lives and legacies of our clients, associates, community, and what does Confluence need to look like in the future to accomplish that. So if we reverse and say what are we doing today so that in the future we are that firm. So I just wanted to pose that question.

Greg: Yeah, so a lot of that question. So I’d say two things that I think about in that question is, one, there’s a lot going on in the world. So when you say maximize people’s lives and legacies, the responsibility with everything going on in the world is incredible. I mean, you have AI, you have things changing, right? And so there’s a lot going on. So we just need to embrace that. We need to embrace it and we need to prepare.

So one, there’s a lot going on in the world and we need to think about that. State true to our core values. There’s no question, but be ready to change and embrace technology and new resources that are available that help our clients. So that’s certainly something we’ve been doing. And then when you say maximize people’s lives and legacies, we’re saying, okay, and we have groups getting together saying, okay, prove it. So if we say maximize lives and legacies, how will we know in some period of time, five or 10 years that we’re actually living that mission? So as you know, with goals, you have to make them quantifiable, measurable, and they have to be time specific. So in different parts of the company, we’re spending time saying, okay, yep, we’re maximizing lives and legacies. That’s what it’s all about. But then we say prove it. And we’re all talking about what those proof points could look like.

Katie: Yeah. So to that point, as far as the next generation of leaders at Confluence, we get together once a month, the directors, and we work through Confluence’s 10, five year plan and then drill that down into what we need to do this quarter, what projects do we need to do? And those are some of the meetings that are happening internally. Yeah. Do you want to talk a little bit about Project Uber?

Greg: Oh, yeah. Yeah, so we, yeah, yeah, Project Uber. So the reason we’re calling it Project Uber, and I don’t know if you or if the listeners are aware of most probably are, what a medallion is.

A medallion. I was not. You were not. Okay, so we should say what it is. So a medallion is what you have to own to be able to drive a taxi cab in New York City. And I remember when I traveled back forth to New York City a lot, I just remember being amazed by the price of a, the price that’s around probably around 2013, something like that, they got to like a million dollars. So to get to, to drive a taxi, million dollars.

Katie: So it was And this is sort of, I, I use the analogy of after I learned about what this was, it’s sort of like a liquor license for a ride. 100%. It’s a liquor license for a taxi to be a tax.

Greg: 100%. So, so a million dollars, right? And that was like, you take out a loan and that would be your, that would be your franchise. That would be your McDonald’s. That’s a, that’s, of them went up for sale.

And I think the highest one went for like $136,000 and most of them didn’t even get a bit. And so you look at that and you go, Okay, wait a minute. What happened? Like, like having a taxi in New York City was like an awesome thing. And then the world changes, right? And then someone says, hey, there’s this thing called Uber. We have an idea.

Instead of standing in the rain, you can text us that sounds better than a taxi. They’re gone. No more need for a medallion. So, and you could do blockbuster and Netflix, you could do that with a whole bunch. So, we put together this group called Project Uber, which I think is like seven of our associates. And we’re saying, okay, what does the next 10 years look like?

What does great look like in the next 10 years? How do we for our clients make sure that we’re Uber and not taxi? And how do we continue to add services and make sure that we’re really doing a great job on money management? So, and so then we think, you know, Project Uber will lead the way in that discussion.

So, that’s one of the organizations. We also have, but we also have like AI, like AI, artificial intelligence. Okay, so we can embrace that. We can use that. We use it for our clients.

Katie: I think, I just want to say, I think AI to a lot of people, it’s a scary thing. Yeah. It’s been marketed on this as a scary thing. Instead of being scared of it, we’re embracing it. 100%.

Greg: Now, it can be frightening, right? I mean, if it’s out of control, but, you know, there’s a lot of information there. We want to harness it. We want to use it. So we have a group that that’s what they’re thinking about. You know, AI, how do we use it and where do we go from there?

Katie: And I do on a small scale. I know a lot of associates here use it to just kind of like brainstorm. Yeah. Think about things and work through ideas

Greg: and things like that matter. Yeah. And I would say to the listeners, get on chat, GPT, play with it and like say, okay, you know, what could what could the topic be? Give me a topic. What should I for breakfast? What you have for breakfast? And then you say, okay. And then it says, then you could say like, okay, give me something a little more tasty. Could you give me that? Could you take out car? Well, like whatever that is, it’s sort of amazing how you can keep manipulating it. Yeah.

Katie: It’s like a friend that’s not really a person. Yeah. Yeah. So kind of coming back a little bit, the next generation of leaders, when we say leaders, we are hope is that everybody at Convloads is a leader. It’s not just the CEO, the COO and that. So what are we doing internally to build associates? Yeah.

Greg: So we owe it to our clients to build a firm that endorse. And we have to respect the roots of where we come from. We have to make sure we’re performing on a daily basis on behalf of our clients at the best of our ability. But then we also need to make sure that we’re here for the children and grandchildren of our current clients. And so we are spending time thinking about how do we make sure in 20, 30, 40 and 50 years, and I think that’s so much fun to think like that. How do we prepare for that? One of the skills that’s difficult, the most difficult I think to teach is to teach people how to think strategically.

So right, how do you think about five or 10 years from now and make it happen? So we have a group of people, we call them the next generation of leaders. I’m not in that group.

But in that group, and none of us are going anywhere. But this is like, we’re thinking about 20 years from now for our next generation, saying, okay, how should we prepare for the next 10 and 20 years? And so they’re putting together plans and they’re thinking about that and they’re meeting regularly. So that’s our next gen group.

Katie: I think it’s important to know just because, again, maybe you’re not in the next gen group, but you’re part of the process. Thinking strategically. We have the more seasoned associates that have perspective. They’ve been in the industry for 30 plus years and then we have fresh people right out of college. We have Sophia, she just grew up a few years ago and she’s spunky and she’s smart and we want to make sure that she grows

Greg: into

Katie: So, I guess to wrap things up a little bit. Our goal for this podcast really is to give everybody insights as to what is happening inside of Confluence. Yeah. So, we’ll be continuing the conversation. I guess if listeners have any interesting thoughts about the future or what they think maybe we should consider, we’d be happy to hear that. We’re always wanting to hear from people.

Greg: 100% and I would love to have a conversation on what we’re doing in our business in more detail if it helps other businesses. Or I mean, we would love to do that. Or I will tell you, if you’re thinking about this type of stuff in your own personal life, I would say, I just read a book. I just listened to a book. Here’s a hack for you. If you listen to a book, it’s become your future self now by, remember that one? Who wrote that?

Katie: Dr. Benjamin Hardy. Dr.

Greg: Benjamin Hardy, become your future self now. So it’ll be out, it’s out. But what I do, I read the books, but then sometimes what I’ll do if I’m running around traveling, I’ll listen to the book on tape and then I put it on one and a half times. So the amount of information you consume goes up. So I’d encourage you to get this book. It really helps you think about the future and really challenges you to become your future self as quickly as possible. So I find it to be valuable if this is the kind of stuff you like to think about.

Katie: That’s great takeaway. That’s sort of what we’re doing with Confluence. Who’s our future self and how are we doing that?

Greg: And how do we accelerate it? Like how do we, one of the things the book says, here’s another thing just for the listeners. It encourages you to say, OK, who’s your future self in 10 years? And you almost have to like separate from who you are today and really think creatively about what it could be in 10 years. Then I did this. And then that person that is 10 years older, wiser, whatever, writes a letter back to your current self. And so my 68 year old Greg wrote a letter to my 58 year old Greg. And I found it incredibly valuable. So there’s another exercise that you do, the kind of things you want to think about that I’d encourage people to do.

Katie: Awesome. Well, thank you, Greg. Thanks. This was enjoyable. Enjoy it. Thanks everybody for listening. We will, we’ll be back soon. Appreciate it.

Greg:

Only 52% of millennials reported feeling empowered to drive change within their organizations. Of that 52%, 89% said they feel a sense of belonging with the organization. Imagine that.

(SOURCE: Deloitte, Striving for balance, advocating for change, 2022)

 

Hello and welcome to the Imagine That Podcast. I’m your host, Greg Weimer, founder, partner, and wealth manager at Confluence Financial Partners. Each month we’ll explore new ways to help you maximize your life and your legacy and meet some extraordinary people along the way. So, if you’re looking to get more out of your life today and legacy tomorrow, let’s get started.

 

Welcome. This is Greg Weimer with Confluence Financial Partners, and this will be an, this will be an interesting, this is like, take two. I don’t think we’ve done a 2.0 yet in our, in our podcast, so this will be fun. Some of you may remember that it was in 2019 we did a podcast with four of the millennials in our firm, and we talked about how to communicate with millennials. Well, the good news is I think we’re over that. We know how to communicate pretty well.

 

In fact, the millennials in our firm teach us how to communicate even better, and they’re very good at it. And every once in a while, we have to remind them talking to someone isn’t a text or an email. But other than that we’re, we’re over that. I think the opportunity today and the reason to listen to this podcast or, or, or one is just to give you, it’s been an interesting three and a half years.

So let’s give, let’s give the listeners a peek under the tent of Confluence Financial Partners. So just what’s going on here, What’s happened in the last three years? And then, two, you know, I mean, clients should demand, and I would think they want to know how we’re building this organization for the next 10, 20, 30, and 40, 50 years. So we’ll talk about that and let’s talk about like in the last three years, some of the things we’ve done as a team to build our organization for the future.

 

And then how do you build a team? Like, like what have we done to really make sure everybody has a great work-life balance but is still really driven and passionate and fired up when they come, listen to this, when they come into the office, which is, I think, a little bit different right now. And then we are planning/goal crazy in here. So let’s talk a little bit our pla— about our planning process. And maybe that’ll help some folks that are listening think about how to plan in their lives or in their businesses.

 

So first, we have four, the same four, the same team. It’s a, it’s a, it’s an encore presentation. We have our four millennials and I’m gonna have them introduce themselves, Not that I don’t know their names or, and all about their family and by their families have grown. These, these individuals in front of me have added four children in the last three years. So I guess that’s work-life balance. And but, but if you could go around and the reason this will be helpful also, it’ll help you attach their voices to their names. So the first one’s voice would be pretty easy to distinguish from the other three. So Katie, do you want to start?

 

Katie:

Sure. thanks Greg. My name is Katie Montagazzi. I am now the director of marketing communication here at Confluence. I’m a sort of a financial planner. And I wanted to add as well, there are more than just four millennials at Confluence.

 

Greg:

There’s a lot, right.

 

Katie:

After three years.

 

Greg:

Yep. Right.

 

Katie:

For the sake of this podcast.

 

Greg:

Right, right. And, and, and Katie is a CFP and Katie still works with clients. It’s really, and so she has a unique background in that. She’s, she’s, she certainly is in charge of our marketing communications, which is her passion, but she also knows a lot about our business and as a CFP and part of having a great team is you find, you get, you hire great people and then you put ’em where they, where, where you think they’re gonna be able to shine. So Katie has transitioned a little bit and expanded her responsibilities. Gregory?

 

Gregory:

So I am Gregory Weimer. I’m our Chief Operating Officer and also wealth manager here at Confluence now. In terms of designations, I’m a CPA, I’m a CFP like Katie, and I’m also a CEPA, so I’m a Certified Exit Planning Advisor, is what CEPA stands for.

 

Greg:

Yeah. And so we’ve, we’ve, we’ve been blessed to have several, many, bunch, like whatever clients that have benefited from that, right? That they exit their business and we help them with, with the exits. So, so that, that has been really helpful. You have that designation. You and I should probably do one is like, what’s, what’s it like working with your dad? Right? Cause—

 

Gregory:

That’s a whole ‘nother story.

 

Greg:

That’s, that’s another podcast. But yes, but everybody told me when we were about to do it, how hard it was gonna be. And it, I don’t know. You probably feel differently. I don’t think it’s been that tough.

 

Gregory:

So far, so good.

 

Greg:

So far so good. It’s been great. I mean, so, but it’s really important. And Gregory runs the day-to-day operations. So, cool.

 

Chuck:

Right. Good morning. My name’s Chuck Ziants. I’m a wealth manager at Confluence, and I hold a Certified Financial Planning designation.

 

Greg:

Yeah. And Chuck works on our team and, and works with a lot of our, a lot of our clients. And you and I have known each other longer than you’ve been here though, so it’s, it’s.

 

Chuck:

2013.

 

Greg:

Yeah. So it’s been really good. And, and I’ve never seen you without a lot of energy. And so like he, everybody’s nodding. He brings energy to the game. He works really well with our clients. Very detail oriented. When you go in with Chuck, meeting with Chuck, you, you just, you, you’re gonna know every single detail before you go in. Randall?

 

Randy:

Yep. I’m Randy Holcomb. I’m the director of our wealth planning department here at Confluence, and I’m also a Certified Financial Planner. Just carrying on the theme here.

 

Greg:

We hired Randy. I kept hearing there’s these good kids out at Grove City. So how many years ago was that? Eight. Eight years ago. So I went up to Grove City on one of the recruiting deals and, and Randy was one of the people we met. And you’ve done almost everything right? So if you don’t know who does this, it’s probably Randy. Not only does he do a lot of the financial planning, but, but he’s been incredibly helpful just with a lot of the transitions, a lot of the different things. So he’s sort of like the glue of the organization.

 

As a peek under the tent. Like, you know, it’s been three and a half years since, you know, we, we had one of these podcasts. If you could say the one thing in the last three and a half years that would surprise clients or you’d think clients would want to know about, For me, it, it feels the same. Like, it’s just all, it’s, it’s just all blur frankly. It’s just we keep going. Right. we don’t really slow down very often, but is there a moment that you think some of the listeners would be interested in?

 

Gregory:

Yeah, I’ll go first. I mean, I think when you look at the resources we’ve added over the last three years, and it’s hard to believe, it’s exciting for the next three years, but we’ve brought a lot of expertise in house. So, you know, we have 401K department and Brian, our 401k specialist in house. We have insurance now we have a director of investments with a CFA. So there’s a lot of hires we’ve added that to us probably feel gradual, but for a three-year period, it’s a lot. So I, I think that’s been awesome.

 

Greg:

Yeah. You know, you used the word, you said expertise and you said in-house. And, you know, we have a, we’ve always had a lot of expertise through our relationship with Raymond James. You know, they, they’re a custodian. We own ourselves, but they’re a custodian. But it is a blessing for us and for our clients to have the expertise down the hall, not in some office in a faraway land that’s at an 800 number, and you are totally vulnerable to the person that picks up the phone. So we, we, we have it in house. So we have it, we have a, we have a team of experts here. We keep adding to that expertise. I feel like we’re putting together a band and you just keep putting together great people and music happens. It’s what we’ve been doing. I couldn’t agree more. I think that has been, and that’s been way, it’s been fun. We we’re, we’re not adding expertise, we’re adding really good people. Anyone else?

 

Randy:

I think RIA has been huge for our business in terms of the things it’s allowed us to do. I know we’ve talked a lot about that with clients and communicated quite a bit about it. But just having the independence to build our business for our clients. And that’s, that’s the most important thing. I think that’s been huge.

 

Greg:

It, it is. If you, if you watch the flow of people, if you watch a flow of expertise, you know, the banks are the banks, that, that’s a different animal, a little bit. But people tend to, people from our industry don’t go to a bank, right? So, so when you watch the flow of people there, there’s great big national firms and there’s great people at those firms, and a lot of ’em around here are my friends, so not criticizing them in any way. But those people tend to go to what’s called independent. And then independent tends to go RIA. And so it, it, it does not go the other way. And we are now at the RIA stage, and we think for our clients, that’s, that’s been wildly beneficial. It’s the difference of having an iPhone versus a flip phone. We can put whatever technology and apps we need to together to make sure that we can customize the experience that we want our clients to have, not some person in a faraway land. So Randy, I couldn’t agree with — that’s been, that’s been really important behind the scenes that, that some people may not be aware of. But it’s been extraordinarily important if we’re trying to build a future to take care of our clients for the next 30 years.

 

Katie:

I have two things. One, not just adding resources and associates, but we’ve moved into a new building in the South Hills of Pittsburgh. Built a building, office. Moved into the PPG office downtown. And when, now we have an office in Naples. So logistically we’ve grown—

 

Greg:

By the way, by the way, two of the three were done during Covid. Right.

 

Katie:

Right. <Laugh> Not great timing, but it’s great now. And then second, I wanted to mention this past year we were nominated again as one of the Fastest 50 Growing Companies in Pittsburgh. And we were the fastest financial services firm in Pittsburgh last year. So growth has been the theme.

 

Greg:

Yeah. sometimes people say, Why is that good for our current clients? If you would see the resources and what we can do for clients today versus five years ago. It’s, it’s, it’s significantly better. So it certainly benefits new clients, obviously, and new associates, but our current associates and our current clients have benefited greatly from our growth. And by the way, you cannot keep talent and you cannot attract talent unless you’re growing. No one wants to work for an eroding organization.

 

Chuck:

And I really think that people would be shocked at how much we collaborate. And we really leaned into the challenges the last, you know, three, four years.

 

Greg:

Yeah. I was with some great clients yesterday and I said we probably do more business in the hallways than in the offices. <Laugh>, Right? I do laps around the office and we just get a lot done in the hallways. So Chuck, I agree that the collaboration’s been a big deal.

 

Chuck:

The five-minute drive-bys have been invaluable.

 

Greg:

Yeah. Yep. Fly-bys. Fly-bys. Is that what they are?

 

Chuck:

Mm-Hmm. <affirmative>.

 

Greg:

They’re fly-bys, Yeah.

 

Chuck:

Fly-bys.

 

Greg:

Yeah. And so we do a lot of those. So anyhow, that’s great. I mean, I think that’s a great peek under the tent. And I hope the listeners just, just really hear us say clearly that we are, we are working hard to build an organization that’ll be here for their families. I’m always amazed I said, Oh, here, here a prospective client. So I work with them. I’m like, Oh, right, Really? Why? And it’s like, one or two people, they’re 60 years old and they’re gonna take care of my family. And I’m like, just do the math. They’re not gonna take care. It’s like math. This isn’t an opinion. It’s like math. They’re not gonna take care of your family.

 

So the good thing about here is we have people in their twenties that are very talented. We have people in their thirties that are very talented, forties, fifties, and sixties. And so we, we will be here to take care of families. And we think it’s important that we have that diverse group. And also, it’s important that we stay private so clients can rely us, rely on us in the future. Let’s go to — I don’t know, I may be biased. I think we have an incredible team. I really do.

 

Not, not to make it all about Confluence, but, but more importantly, let’s take it, let’s talk about what do you think we’ve done as an organization that allow, has allowed us to build such a truly, and this is the correct word, driven team? And I honestly don’t know the answer, so I’m fascinated to hear.

 

Randy:

I think we’re pretty upfront at the, from, from the get-go of here’s what the expectation of is of a Confluence associate. I have the privilege of whenever we have a new hire that comes on, I get to do the brief history of Confluence and welcome to Confluence presentation. And one of the things we talk about is the culture of goal setting, of improvement, and how we truly believe that individuals are at their best and happiest, and it’s best for our clients, if we’re constantly improving. And so the expectation is we’re gonna do a five-year plan, we’re gonna do quarterly goals, and it’s gonna be part of our DNA. And I think we end up because of that, we end up attracting people who want that, that excites them.

 

Greg:

So be upfront and honest with what you’re trying to— when you’re hiring someone. I mean, my wife and I started dating, I don’t know, 35 years ago, and I said, Hey, here’s what I want out of life. What do you want out of life? Let’s save each other a bunch of time. So we compared notes, matched up. Good. So if, if you, so if someone wants to say like, Hey, I’m here to coast, that’s great. But there’s a great firm for you — it will not be Confluence Financial Partners. Right? So I think that’s a good point, Randy, just, and thank you for doing that. We, we are very upfront if we’re, we’re, we’re about improvement. What else?

 

Gregory:

And I think even taking that a step further, it’s become part of the interview process also, right? I mean, we’re, we’re talking to people during interviews about: how can we help them succeed? And, you know, being driven, being goal oriented is part of it. And we want to it to be the right fit for potential employees too. So if they’re someone who wants to come in and just check the boxes, they realize it may not be a great fit also.

 

Greg:

I think that’s right. Yep. I think that’s, I think that’s fair.

 

Katie:

So Gregory and Randy mentioned about getting the right people on the bus, as we always say. But I think once you’re, if you’re an associate of Confluence, you also, you don’t just join the organization with that growth mindset or goal-setting aspiration, but we all hold each other very accountable. If somebody’s kind of like falling behind, nobody has an issue saying like, Hey, what’s going on? Like, let’s get it together. So I think all of us do a really good job of actually being a team and carrying everybody along with us on the journey.

 

Greg:

Yeah. And, and it is a team. I mean, and it is accountable, but it’s weird. Like not, it’s, it’s not like, you know, it’s not like in a principal way, it’s just that we, we have a standard and we create it and everybody works really, really hard to live up to it. And as I look around the room, I think I’ve texted every one of you at nine o’clock at night. I’ve texted every one of you at five o’clock in the morning. And I know that sounds crazy, but you know, you don’t always need to respond. But, you know, it gets, and we communicate that way. And it’s, it’s really amazing, you know, the communication and accountability and idea sharing. I remember this was probably 40 days ago, there was a, there was an idea that came out of our Pittsburgh office, our downtown office, and I thought it was something we needed to move quickly on. And I texted Randy and Gregory and said, How quickly can we get this done? And what do we need to do, get to get it done in the next 30 days? It was amazing how quickly you guys moved. You did it in 31, which was okay, but it was, but, but <laugh> But it was good. I mean, we moved, right? And so it’s just how we, it’s just how the organization is.

 

Chuck:

And I think too, I think the, the big thing is, is the leadership here in everyone here takes a vested interest of your success in the office and out of the office. Like that’s one thing that I’ve taken away over the years is, is they care about what you’re doing in the office and outside, which is great. They, we all take a vested interest in each one of our families. It’s great.

 

Greg:

Yeah. It’s, it’s not, that’s— Thank you for pointing that out, because it could make it sound like it’s all about just work, work, work. And it’s not true. I mean, balance is, if you need to be home for your, for your family, you should be home. If you need to be in the office for your office, for the firm, you should be in the office. But that’s, that’s true balance. So we do look at it as a group of families. In fact, in fact, that just reinforces the whole, we don’t do, we don’t work. And this is just how we live our lives, right? We don’t work and we don’t play. We just live. And I think that’s a, that’s different than how most people think. There’s a lot of conversation out there about people not wanting to come back into the office. Not at Confluence, but there’s a lot of conversation out there about people not wanting to come into the office. And you know, you guys are like looking at me, you know, but it’s like, that’s just not — did you want to come in, why’d you come in? Has it made us better with you being in here?

 

Gregory:

Yes and yes.

 

Katie:

We’ve been back in the office since — help me — spring of — no, winter 2021.

 

Gregory:

We went through phases.

 

Greg:

Right, right, right. We were very, Yeah, right. We—

 

Katie:

We were—

 

Greg:

I mean like, like, you know, when there was a sharp spike, we’d be like, okay, we, everybody’s got to get, or even in the office, right? We had a couple breaks and, and so we’re like, okay, let’s, let’s get out of this office and away from each other’s germs for a week or two. And then at first we did, right, for a month or something like that. But yeah, so, but I was— But you’re making, go ahead.

 

Katie:

Yeah. So there was a common theme when we were home working, you know, we were working, but I would call like Chuck, I would call Neil. I would call Gregory just to say hey, because I missed seeing them and just collaborating, whether it be personal or professional. And then coming back in the office, it was like a breath of fresh air. Being home was cool for a little while and then it was like, wow, I really, I feel like we were missing something. And we got back in the office, we were able to collaborate better, circle around the client, do meetings. There were just so many things we were missing out on being home. So I think we can all agree that we were excited to come back. And then I just wanted to add too, still to this day, it happened to me last week, somebody said, Oh, are you guys back in the office? <Laugh>? And I wanted to laugh. I’m like, Well, what have you been doing? Right? Yeah, we’ve been back. It’s been great. Yeah, we’re, you know, it’s, nobody’s had any big issues or anything. Right. So it is interesting. I think we’re kind of the minority in the world.

 

Greg:

Of, and at the same time, and this is true of the fathers also, but as a mother of two young boys, there are moments that it is very convenient and necessary that you work from home.

 

Katie:

Yep.

 

Greg:

And that’s okay.

 

Katie:

Okay. Yes, with children, there’s never a dull moment. I’ll say that. <Laugh>

 

Katie:

But no, it’s great. Yeah. I mean, all of us, I can speak to all of us. We all, you know, if you have something that’s going on at home in your personal life, you are more than welcome to do what you need to do. And whenever it’s time to work and be here, we’re here.

 

Gregory:

Yeah. Our business is also about relationships, right? So for us, we want to sit across the table from our clients and I think we miss that. It’s nice using Zoom or Teams, whatever you’re using for a virtual meeting. But, you know, at some point it’s nice to look at someone in the eyes in the same room. And after a while I miss that. It’s nice to still have the tool, but that’s a big part of our job.

 

Greg:

It is. And, and I, I, I would think the clients are listening. I would think you expect us to be in the office. It’s amazing how many people aren’t, but it’s, I would think you expect us to be in the office and we, look, we, we, Zoom has been great. We have clients 42 states, so we need to use Zoom from time to time. And that works great. But you, you, but it’s, it, it, it is nice to see people face to face.

 

So we actually are in the process of now I know this is this, by the time, hopefully this is by the time this is out, hopefully these meetings will be accomplished. But we have a challenge in here. We want to meet with, we want to do a thousand interactions with our clients. A thousand face-to-face meetings, a thousand Zoom for the people that are out of town. And because we know this is a tough time, we know this is, to Gregory’s point, we know this is a relationship business and we are gonna put that goal out there and say engage, engage with the clients. Let’s make sure that we are out there communicating with our clients in this difficult time.

 

Chuck:

Moral of the story with that plug, let’s meet.

 

Greg:

Let’s meet <laugh>, Let’s meet, let’s meet. Yeah.

 

Katie:

Oh, I was just gonna add something. Doing marketing and communication internally at Confluence, a lot of my, so like clients I would say are advisors, Confluence advisors. So being in the office, the most effective communication happens whenever you’re in the office, belly to belly, eyeball to eyeball, phone calls are great, email’s, great, whatever. But to be physically in the same room as somebody is the most effective way we communicate, I would say.

 

Greg:

Couldn’t agree more. And there are people out there I’m sure that are saying, Yeah, but we are just as effective outside the office. We are not judging you. You may be in a different business than the wealth management business. Frankly, when we were out of the office for a little bit, we were just as productive also. But it was because of the relationships we built when we were in the office. So what I would challenge people to think about is when you fast forward to 20 years, if you’re not in the office, will you have those same relationships that if you’re forced to go outside the office, that you’ll still be productive? We are benefiting from the relationships we’ve built. When we stop building those and we have to go remote, I would, I would challenge the thought that would be that be that productive. And I think for the, the, this, this is, this is an old guy dad advice, if you’re 30 something, get in the office because you need to be around other people to learn from the mentors. We were with a partner of a law firm that will remain nameless in Pittsburgh and you know, he’s okay. I mean, he is, he’s, you know, close to retirement. But man, if I were a new attorney, I would want to be next to this attorney because he’ll just make you better over time.

 

Chuck:

Iron sharpens iron.

 

Greg:

So earlier you all, you said we’re, we’re about goal oriented and we do think a lot about goals. And we do think, and, and you know, as I was saying it, we’re in the planning business, I would hope we think a lot about goals, it’s what we do. I’ll run into financial advisor, say what are your goals? Like, Oh, I don’t have any goals. I’m like, you’re in the goal business for goodness’ sake! Like how don’t you have any goals? You know, I’m just gonna try better. Well that’s cute, but like goals help. Or you just, you know, so— I think it’d be interesting for folks to, you know, from a planning standpoint, maybe, maybe this converts into some listeners lives. Could you talk a little bit about, when you say we’re goal oriented, when you, you know, when, when you, when you say we’re very, you know, intentional about what we do, do you want to just give a couple bullet points about what that means inside of Confluence?

 

Gregory:

I’ll start at the firm level because I think it’s, it’s individual and from a business standpoint. So we, we start and we’re very open about what Confluence’s five-year plan is and what the goals are each of those years to get there. So we start with the five-year plan. We know where we want to be high level in five years, but then we break that down on how we’re going to get there. And I think what helps our associates is we’re open about that. And so everyone feels like they’re part of the growth and they can make their own goals to build on that. So, you know, whatever the planning department needs to do or retirement plan services, everyone’s a part of the same goal and rowing in the same direction.

 

Katie:

I was just gonna add in the last three years we’ve added directors of all of our different teams and within those five-year plans there’s, you know, the Confluence five-year plan and then we all have our responsibilities. Like what’s Katie owning? What’s Gregory owning? And then that filters down into our five-year, one-year, quarterly, daily tasks. So I think Greg, you always say people like 10 years from now or like, how did I get here? Well it’s probably because you didn’t plan <laugh>, so you just ended up wherever you ended up.

 

Greg:

Right.

 

Katie:

So we understand that and we’re being very intentional with not just business, but professional, professional things, personal things. I don’t know, it’s just the way to do it.

 

Greg:

Yeah. So, so just to play on both of us and to bring ’em together, I mean, they’re all part of the same process. You know, Greg, we, we get together and, you know, at the firm level and we, we think about, okay, so here’s where we want to be in five years and we work backwards on it. Okay, so what do we have to do to get there? And so that’s quantitatively that’s, that’s, that’s qualitatively like what do we need to do to get there? And, and it’s, it’s the plan. And then we show it to all of our directors and then the directors put together their plan. And then we show it to the advisors. Then the advisors put together their plan. So, so we absolutely have a five-year plan. And, and by the way, the five-year plan is about how do we improve the experience to our clients? And so when we add this expertise and we add these services, it’s not happenstance. I mean it’s something we’ve, we’ve absolutely thought about because we’re saying, okay, if we were a client, what would we want in five years? What would we want and demand this firm to look like? And that’s how we work on our five-year plan.

 

Randy:

Like Katie said, to go a little more into it, you take the five-year plan and then you say, What do I need to get done in the next year, next two years? You know? And then from there you say, what about this quarter? What do I need to do in the next 90 days? What are the high-impact activities? And then boil it down even further. What do I need to do today to accomplish this quarterly goal? And you know, we have a culture at Confluence around that. And we, it’s not just something you talk about, there’s templates for your quarterly goals. There’s, there’s templates for, you know, plan tomorrow today for your daily tasks. And I think most of us use those things and that’s a big part of our DNA and it shows, you always say, Greg, it’s amazing how often you write something down and then it happens.

 

Greg:

It happens.

 

Chuck:

It’s about identifying the big rocks, right?

 

Gregory:

It’s amazing when you actually accomplish goals too, right? That helps. So you continue to plan and want to plan. When we’re at the end of this year, when you look back at 2022, the rocks we had, the big goals, they’re all accomplished. And we set out a goal to accomplish them and we did. And whether that’s bringing in an in-house insurance specialist, whether that’s adding new technology, we’ve done it for this year. And so the buy-in is there. It’s not just words on a piece of paper that we hope we can accomplish.

 

Greg:

At one point, the, it would’ve been adding the, the, the investment, someone to run the investment group. At one point it had been a South Hills office. At one point it would’ve been launching Naples. At one point it would’ve been, you know, becoming an RIA. And these things are all critical, but they were, they, they existed because they’re all quarterly goals. And, and by the way, I think the other thing that’s important is it also allows you not to try to do too much at one time, right? Because you break things out and say, okay, this is all great. If we try to get it done all this quarter, nothing will happen. If we do it over the next year, we’re gonna get, so we’ll move faster by moving slower.

 

Chuck:

I mean, what do you all say if we do three really good things a quarter in five years.

 

Greg:

Boom, game changer.

 

Chuck:

People are gonna call us lucky, right?

 

Greg:

Yeah. Actually if you do, like, and then with the other one, right? If you do your most important thing every day, just do your one most. I call it my “no matter what.” No matter what, I got to do this, no matter what. I got to like, call this person, you know, meet with this person no matter what. If you do your “no matter what” every day and every day you do your “no matter what,” that’s aligned with your five-year goal.

 

Katie:

Yeah. We never really do it in a vacuum either. So whenever working through our quarterly goals, we’ll share it with the team. And again, if your goals are not maybe the best of your ability, somebody will call you out and say, Hey, you’re probably gonna do that anyhow, so why don’t you think bigger?

 

Greg:

Yeah. That’s called like breathing oxygen. That’s just living, that’s not like changing the world.

 

Katie:

Yeah. Some, sometimes people think tasks are goals and they’re not.

 

Gregory:

You have to have personal goals too, right? We we’re talking about the job and work, but we do a lot of things within Confluence to help people personally. So whether it’s a fitness challenge that we’re doing the fourth quarter of this year or earlier this year, doing a wellness challenge that isn’t only fitness, maybe it’s reading a book or a spiritual ga— whatever it is. There’s a lot of personal goals too that we have and we help associates accomplish.

 

Greg:

Yeah. So the one right now, so they, it’s, it’s, it’s around health and the winner is served dinner by the losers, but—

 

Katie:

Of their choice.

 

Greg:

Of their choice. Yeah. So, so if it’s someone that, you know, maybe if it’s one of our single individuals, you know, they may have some of their friends over and have steaks and beer, you know, whatever steaks and wine, whatever they want to do. If it’s if it’s someone that says, Hey, I just want to have a candlelit dinner with my, with my spouse. So then the, and then the other, the losers have to serve that. There’s only 15 or 20 people in this one, right?

 

Gregory:

Yeah.

 

Greg:

So the losers have to serve the winner. So that’ll, that’ll be fine. And they cannot get it catered. They have to, they have to, they have to make the dinner. So that’ll be fun.

 

Katie:

Then coming full circle, you mentioned the beginning of the podcast, Chuck is very detail oriented.

 

Greg:

Yeah.

 

Katie:

So Chuck is super serious about this contest and he’s sitting at this table with a gallon of water that he’s supposed to consume on a daily basis.

 

Gregory:

How many ounces? How big is that?

 

Chuck:

Gallon. One hundred and twenty-eight ounces.

 

Greg:

So he’s been running to the restroom so often his productivity is plummeting. So, so, but it is fun to challenge each other and I think it’s part of the team, right? It’s so it is also interesting when people say like, how, how’s everyone, so, like how as, you know, one of the leaders of the organization, how do you keep everyone so motivated? And I think it’s such a funny question because I don’t. Like, like I think what’s interesting about our team is: they keep each other motivated. Like it’s, it’s a team. And so everybody has a standard that they hold each other to the standard and you know, you just hire the right people and that, that’s very, very helpful.

 

Randy:

It’s the power of a culture. It can— pushes everybody forward.

 

Greg:

It’s everything. And by the way, I don’t know how you do a culture if no one’s in the office. I know you can do an activity every quarter, I guess that’s cool. But I don’t know how you do a, I don’t know how you do that, right? So are we have, we have a culture because we’re together, we say we’re a culture of improvement and growth. And if I’m listening to this, I’m, and I’m a potential associate, which we’re, we’re, we’re always looking for great people, I think the most important thing I do in my career is, is, is attract and retain good people. I mean that’s, that’s like what I really focus on. That’s one of the things I really focus on. So, you know, we’re trying to make all of us the best versions of ourselves.

 

It’s been three and a half years since we did the first podcast. What do you think the skill set, the thing you learned that, what benefited you the most? How are you different today? However you want to answer it.

 

Randy:

I’ll start. So for me it’s the ability to specialize more and more. So when I started, I think that was what the sixth person at Confluence. And so I did a little bit of everything and I, I still do a little bit of everything. I’m involved in a lot of areas, but now, being the director of wealth planning, as we’ve grown, we’ve been able to specialize in more areas and, and get people doing more of what they’re best at. And put everybody in position to win. And that’s been, that’s been phenomenal. I know I’ve enjoyed that, motivates me. And I, I’ve seen it all around the organization as we continue to grow.

 

Greg:

It’s so cool to be able to, it’s so cool to be able to do more of less, right? I mean, and, and, and Randy with the financial plans, I mean you work with all the financial advisors. So the, the, you see way more than the typical financial advisor. So, so you just, you know, you have different expertise than someone that would do it twice a week.

 

Randy:

I would say mine would probably be two. I would say one would be getting the CFP, Certified Financial Planner. That was right around Covid time, which was a challenge to say the least. As most of you know. I would—

 

Greg:

You were about to take the exam, then they canceled the exam.

 

Randy:

They canceled it. <Laugh> The day before.

 

Greg:

Stress.

 

Randy:

I actually was considering I was calling all the testing centers down the East coast. I was about to drive to Texas to take it. Ended up closing them, pushing it about six months back. So that was fun. I would say the second thing would be joining the Weimer-Wilding team and watching us continue to move and grow and break the process. That’s been invaluable to my career. And for those of you listening that don’t know, I was a solo practitioner when I started. And I would’ve made that decision to join the Weimer-Wilding team, 10 out of 10 times. It’s been awesome.

 

Greg:

And you know, it’s as far as expertise, we hired a consultant and this consultant said, Hey, how about this? And you know, we’re like, Oh, never thought of that. Now, you know, we, we have a lot of teams in the organization, the Weimer-Wilding team being one of ’em. And there is a real advantage of being a team and, and you know, everyone’s benefited, right? I mean, from that, from the team, everyone. And so we’re thankful you’re on it.

 

Gregory:

I don’t think last time we did this, I had been around very long, so, you know, I was working with clients, doing a little bit of everything with the CEPA background. I was still working on our finances. But with the growth of the organization, I think for me the biggest thing has just been, you know, actually taking on the COO responsibility. And now, whereas before it was a little, a little bit of, hey, run this project and make it happen. And I’ve done a lot of those, but now it’s, you’re responsible for making it happen. And I love that. I mean it’s, I’m working on the finances, whether it’s our internal accounting, our billing, I’m working on interviews, I’m working with our operations and our support associates and I still get to work with clients. So for me, the day to day is always changing and that, that’s been a huge change since three and a half years ago. And then there’s been additional designations. There’s been a kid added, so it it’s been a crazy three years.

 

Greg:

The difference, the difference three years makes. Yeah, right. But, but to get all that done, I know his wife fairly well. <Laugh> and Nick will say, she’ll say like, You’re on your computer, it’s at nine o’clock at night. And I don’t, I mean, I know you are. I am too. And what’s interesting is they’re probably not that different than you guys either, right? So, but that’s a lot, that’s a lot to do. Yeah, big change. I mean, I remember when you started, actually, I remember saying to you, you were, he, he was working at EY and he said, I think, I think I’m, I think I want, I think I want to come to Confluence. And I, I thought, okay, we weren’t that big back then, remember? And I, I thought, I don’t know what the hell you’d do <laugh>. Like—

 

Gregory:

I didn’t know either.

 

Greg:

But like now I don’t know what the hell we would do without you. So that’s great.

 

Katie:

Alright, I think, Greg, you touched on this at the beginning, but I’ve had two children in the last three years. So, one, personally, I mean that’s great family growing and second, I think we’re all parents in this room, but I think being a parent really changes your view and makes you better professionally too because your “why” becomes bigger. So that’s been a big change. And I will add, I had my first son Louie in May of 2020. So was working from home, had a child, maternity leave, back to work, but it was work from home. So that, just living life in the last three years has been—

 

Greg:

Yeah. Yeah. You said it made your “why” bigger and people, I mean I think everyone knows about the — we talk about that a lot, right? Whether it’s with clients, or your why, or the firm’s why, or maximize lives and legacies. You want to just touch on like what we mean when we say what you’re all about, all about, and how that is a little different and what that means to you.

 

Randy:

You’re all—

 

Greg:

I asked like 17 questions at once, but I think they’re all the same, right? It’s good. Yeah.

 

Randy:

The key with the, what’s you’re all about is it’s bigger than you might think initially. So sometimes people think of goal, they think, Oh, when do I want to retire? You know, when do I want to buy second home? Or whatever it is. And those are important, but the, what’s it all about is bigger. Like what drives you, what motivates you? When, when all is said and done in your life, what do you want people to say about you? What was important to you? And how do you orient your life, your finances, everything in pursuit of that why? Those are big questions. And I, I think we do a good job of helping each other and clients grapple with those.

 

Greg:

And spoiler alert, I’ve been thinking about this for a really long time. It’s a question that’s fun because you never answer it. You always have an answer, but you’ve never answered it. So, I mean, for me it always evolves and gets bigger and bigger and I was listening to some stuff over the weekend, some different podcasts and videos and I’m like, okay, wait, wait, wait. Am I clear enough about in 30 years what I want people to say or what impact I want to make? Am I clear enough? Can I really visualize it? And the more clear, the more visual you are, the more it’ll inspire you to get your uniform dirty if you have to to get it done.

 

Yeah, I think something, when we’re talking about motivation, I think what’s, clearly, we have motivated financial advisors. Our associates are also wildly motivated, right? I mean we have, we have associates. Whether if you, if you, you know, if you, if you think about some of the, the, the support, the, the support folks, they’re wildly motivated also, are there a couple things we do that maybe other business owners could duplicate to have motivation sort of status quo?

 

Chuck:

I think being open about the business’s goals, right? We’ve mentioned that already, but when the whole staff understands what you’re trying to do, it’s easier for them to feel like they’re part of something. And if they don’t know what the goals are, they’re just coming into work doing the normal job, they think, I have no idea what this is really for, but hey, I’m getting my paycheck. It’s all done. But we have, like you said, really motivated associates and a lot of them, they don’t have to, but they want to study and get licensed in the financial industry and take different tests and certifications and make posts on LinkedIn. They don’t have to do that. It’s not part of the job description, but they want to and I think including everyone is part of your growth plans is why if you have a closed-door policy, people will just see the closed door.

 

Katie:

Yeah. To touch on that I know we always say, Greg, you specifically, you always say we want everybody at Confluence to create the success, not just be a part of it. And once you say that, so many times I think people really take it to heart. And I think that is an example of why and how associates here are so motivated.

 

Randy:

And I think people feel like they have a seat at the table. We talk about that a lot. Whether it’s a new advisor coming on or one of the advantages of being at Confluence is you have a seat at the table and obviously that looks different, you know, depending on where you, where you are within the organization. But there’s been plenty of times where, you know, a support associate had an idea and said, Hey, I think we should do it this way. And everybody was like, Yeah, that sounds good. That’s, that’s a good, let’s do it that way. And that’s rewarding.

 

Greg:

Great idea to action can be, can be in a nanosecond here, right? We, we don’t make, we don’t have a whole layer of people that have to make decisions. If it’s great, we’ll do it and we’ll do it quick. And it doesn’t matter who it comes from.

 

Hopefully you have found this podcast to be of interest, but we really want to make sure we’re given you content and having podcasts that you’re interested in. So we would love to hear from you and just like we’d like to hear from our associates, we’d like to hear from our listeners and if there’s something that you would like us to talk about and you think would be beneficial, please let us know. Would be happy to include it.

 

Katie, Gregory, Chuck, Randy, thank you. We’re fired up that you’re a part of Confluence and we’re looking forward to the next 30, 40 and 50 years of continuing to build this incredible team in this incredible relationship. You know, we started out associates and we continue to build those relationships and end up being friends and I think that benefits clients, that will benefit clients for decades to come. Hopefully the listeners appreciated getting a little peek under the tent of Confluence, the importance of building a team and what talent means to building that team. And then a little bit about a growth mindset and how setting goals and planning those goals and communicating ’em and doing ’em as a team really, when you do those things together, you can really make a major difference. So thank you so much for listening.

 

Thank you for listening to the Imagine That Podcast. We hope you enjoyed this episode and welcome you to reach out to Confluence Financial Partners with your questions and comments. If you’d like to hear more episodes, head over to confluencefp.com/podcasts or find us wherever you get your podcasts.

 

Greg:
Hello, and welcome to the Imagine That podcast. I’m your host, Greg Weimer, founder, partner, and wealth
manager at Confluence Financial Partners. Each month, we’ll explore new ways to help you maximize your
life and your legacy and meet some extraordinary people along the way. So if you’re looking to get more out
of your life today and legacy tomorrow, let’s get started.
Welcome to the second part of our two-part episode on Folds of Honor. If you listened to the first part, you
know all about Folds of Honor and the important work they do. We met Crystal Popella and she shared her
experience and why she founded the Western Pennsylvania chapter of the organization.
Today, Tiffany will help us understand exactly why an organization like Folds of Honor means so much.
Because Tiffany is a Gold Star wife. Her husband, Andy, gave the ultimate sacrifice so all of us could
continue to live in freedom. Andy was killed in action in Iraq. Tiffany was generous enough to share her
remarkable story with us and it is my honor to introduce her to our listeners.
Tiffany:
I’m one of thousands and of a group that I wish never was, but it’s my honor and privilege to be Andy’s wife.
And to be the one that was left behind to carry on his light. And I can say a hundred percent, my life has, the
trajectory of my entire life has been changed because of the vision that Dan Rooney had that day.
Greg:
Tiffany, if you could give your story just to help everybody understand, and this is one of 35,000. But if you
could just give your story and talk about, you know, how freedom really isn’t free and the price that your
family has paid.
Tiffany:
I met Andy Eckert on September 19th of 2002. And I’ll never forget the first time I looked him in the eye. The
piercing blue eyes, the same blue eyes that our children Marley and Myles have, which is the greatest gift.
But also some days just stings, you know? He knew from the minute we met that I was his forever. We met
up the next day and we spent the whole evening together. And when it came time to part, we were sitting on
his front step and he said, Tiffany, I need to tell you something. And you might never wanna talk to me again.
But if you could just hear me out, I have something I wanna share with you. And the long and short of it, he,
again, so intentionally looked me right in the eye, and he said, I know that when I met you last night, I met my
wife. I called my mom at four in the morning and I told her, I met Tiffany, I’m gonna marry her.
I’ve told all of my friends that I met my wife. And he said, and I know after January 1st of this upcoming year,
I’m gonna have to go away with the military. And I don’t know when, how, where or why, but I know I’m
gonna leave. And when I leave, you’ll be my wife. And it was really strange at that point in my life, I was so
young and I thought I had everything planned out. And this was 100 percent a contradiction to everything I
thought that was mapped for me and everything I wanted. But at the same time, it felt so natural. And it
wasn’t just because it was there. It was, it was Andy. It was as if, you know, that moment that we met the
night previous, it was like our souls had already met. We already knew each other. There was just this
perfect harmony, this, this ameshed feeling that I’ve never felt with anybody besides my children. It was
meant to be. And so I looked at him and I said, OK, I believe you. And he was right. Was a handful of months
down the road, February 24, 2003, he got activated to go and be part of the initial wave in the first
occupation of OIF which is Operation Iraqi Freedom.
I wasn’t with him when he got the call. But I got to our apartment and I walked through the door and he’d just
sobbing. His face was soaked in tears, his blue, blue eyes, the, the backdrop behind him was just these
blood-stained eyes. And he looked up at me and he ran over and he dropped to his knees and he put arms
around me and he said, I’m so sorry, our baby is not gonna know who I am. Because we had just found out I
was pregnant. And at the time we didn’t know if we were having a boy or a girl. And I grabbed him on either
side of his face. And I looked at him just like, he always looked at me with such intention and conviction. And
I said, no, I promise, no matter what happens, this baby’s gonna know exactly who you are. I promise.
And then just as nontraditional, as every other part of our relationship, he stood on both feet and looked me
right in the eye, standing, and said, don’t answer me now. I have to go away for a couple of days to do some
paperwork. But when I come back, I want you to marry me. But don’t, don’t answer me right now. And he
went away for a couple days. And when he came back, we went down to the Lucas County courthouse in
Toledo, Ohio. And we got married in a hallway by a stranger and I was wearing jeans. And you look at the
pictures, which we only have one. And Andy was so happy that if he had smiled any wider, his face would’ve
cracked. And I looked terrified, which I was. OK? I was 21. I was pregnant. I was confident that my husband
probably was gonna miss the birth of our first child and my entire pregnancy, which I was right.
And I, I knew that I loved this person more than I’d ever loved anything in my entire life. And then he was
going to war and also in the pictures, you’ll notice Andy had gone out that morning and he took horticulture
in high school. And so flowers and any type of greenery was very important to him. He went out and he got a
pale pink gerber daisy with some hot pink gerber daisies and had them put in a little bouquet. And I was like,
that’s so silly. Why would I take that to the courthouse? He said, you have to, there’s one flower for each of
us: me, you and the baby. And three means, I love you. And I can’t do much for you and this isn’t the
wedding you deserve, but I want you to hold these. And I did. And gerber daisies have become such a pivotal
point in the whole timeline of our story in that, two years, two months and 11 days later, when all of us were
gathered, as Andy was being lowered into the ground, graveside, every single person that was there,
hundreds and hundreds of hot pink and pale pink gerber daisies were placed on top of his casket.
And in all of these years, since we’ve lost Andy, for every special occasion, for every school dance that he’s
missed, for every major event, my children Marley and Myles both receive pale pink or hot pink gerber
daisies. And every now and again, anonymously hot pink gerber daisies will show up at the grave or on my
front porch. I don’t know who puts them there, but I know that ultimately, it’s Andy doing it. So after we got
married on February 28th, it was less than a week later he left for his first tour. On March 6th. And he was
on a 17-month deployment. And just like we both feared, he did not get to come and see Marley born in July.
She was born on July 17th, 2003. It was one of the most wonderful and heartbreaking days of my life. I
never said anything to anyone, but the whole time, all I wanted was to hear Andy’s voice.
And I was in labor for way longer than I should have been. It wasn’t until almost two days later after he got
his Red Cross message that I had gone into labor, that Andy was able to call me on a satellite phone from the
desert to tell me that he loved me. And that’s all I needed. The call was less than two minutes because
things were so tough then. The satellite phone dropped the call, but he was able to tell me, I’m sorry, I’m not
there. I love, you know that I’m with you, I’m in your heart. I’m so proud of you. You can do this. And then
shortly after that, it was like, I felt this release and I was able to give birth to Marley. And I’ll never forget the
first time I met her, she was placed and I was so tired, but I looked down at her and I said, oh, there you are.
I’m happy to meet you, Marley Freedom. I love you. And so does daddy. And then this beautiful moment was
occurring. And my dad goes, Freedom? Marley Freedom? What? That’s not her name. I said, yeah, it is. And
then I explained to my dad, Andy’s not here. And when Marley looks back at the pictures from when she was
born, I want her and her dad, most importantly, but I want everybody to know the reason he is not in the
pictures wasn’t because he didn’t want to be, but because he’s fighting for her freedom, my freedom, your
freedom. Her name is Marley Freedom. And I think she has the coolest name in the world. And her dad
thought so too. So it all worked out and it ended up being almost prophetic, truly that she had that name that
she has. Andy got to come home when she was 11 months old to meet her in April of 2004.
And when he came home, he was a purple heart veteran who had been deemed non-deployable. He never
had to go back to conflict again, ever. He still had shrapnel in his face, he still had shrapnel in his shoulder.
And he narrowly missed never coming home to us. He had been impacted by an IED explosion on March
15th, 2004. And the piece that was meant to take his life missed by a centimeter, missed his jugular. And e
was saved in that moment. He was able to home to us. It was just a handful of months later down the road. I
was at his Army Reserve unit because I was the family readiness leader for his company. And he came to the
room that I was in and I knew something was up. And he sat down and he put his hand on my knee and he
said, babe, they said, if I signed a waiver, I can go back. You know, my unit just got activated and these are
all the guys that I went to Basic and AIT with. And I don’t wanna leave you again. But I need to go. And you
don’t have to say yes, and I’m not begging you to say yes. But this is very important to me. And I believe this
is what I’m supposed to do. And at that time we had just found out I was pregnant with Myles, so here we
were again about repeat history. Here I was so young, 22 years old. And I l looked at him and I said, this is
not what I want, but I could never tell you no. If this is what you feel like you’re supposed to do, then yes, you
can sign the waiver. I will support you. But when you come home, I can’t do this again. And he said, I
promise, I’m gonna make it home. And we’ll be America’s dream team. We’ll just get through this one more
time. So I went with him, and I watched him as he signed the waiver. And coincidentally, every other soldier
that had been deployed in OIF1 that didn’t have to go again, not because they were injured but because of
the timeline. His brothers went and they signed waivers too.
And they went back together. They left for that deployment in OIF3 on Christmas Day, 2004. The only
Christmas we ever spent together was in a hotel room in Indiana. I still have the little, tiny tree in the tiny blue
ornaments, blue and silver bulbs that I bought at Walmart for Marley’s first and only Christmas ever with her
dad. And the only Christmas that we spent together as a family. And, you know, that’s what families like ours
do is they make the most of what moments they’re given. And they’re the grandest moments. We were in a
hotel room. We weren’t in a huge house with a huge tree and tons and tons of gifts, but we had each other
and that’s all that mattered. And those are the things that I try to tell people about and share with them. The
moments that matter most in life are the ones that you don’t even realize they’re your first or your last until
it’s over.
We sent Andy away on Christmas day and he called me, Myles was born in March and he called me about a
week before I was due. And he said, Hey, I’m in Kuwait. I think I’m gonna get to come home, but I don’t
know yet, but I think I’m gonna get to come home and see Myles born. And he said, I’ll call you as soon as I
can. And day after day after day passed, there was no call. And I was ready to have that boy. I had a cracked
pelvis and I called my doctor on Thursday of that week. And I said, listen, I can’t be pregnant one more day. I
am miserable. I don’t think I can walk anymore. I don’t know where my husband is. I did this once without
him. I can do it again. I think he’s on his way home.
I don’t know, but I can’t physically do this anymore. And he said, OK, we’ll induce you tomorrow. Tomorrow
came. It was Friday the 25th of March 2005. I got a call that morning and it was Andy. He said, Hey. I said
where the heck have you been, I haven’t from you for a week? What’re you doing? He’s like, I don’t think I’m
gonna get to come home, I’m really sorry. I said, well, I’m having this baby tonight. And he goes, just kidding.
I’m in Chicago. Can you at 10 AM from the Toledo airport? So he made it just in the nick of time and as fate
would have it. I didn’t need to be induced. I went into labor on my own that night. And Andy got to be home
for 14 days. It was the greatest 14 days that I’ve ever had ever. The only time that my family was together
complete as a family of four. And oftentimes I’ll recount the fact that I have one picture of all four of us
together.
And that is in the moment at the hospital when Marley was brought up to meet Myles. And that’s important.
And I, I share that often because oftentimes especially moms, we like to hide behind the camera. We like to
deny the opportunity to be in pictures because we think we don’t look good enough. Our hair is a mess, our
body isn’t right. And we forgo the opportunity to be in these lasting memories. And so to anyone listening, I
would say, any chance you have to in a picture with your loved ones, your children, your spouse, anybody
important to you — you need to seize that moment and that opportunity. Because I literally have one picture
of my family together, only one. And none of us are looking at the camera. It’s a beautiful moment, we’re all
looking at each other. And I’m thankful for that. But I wish I had more because at the end of the day, when
someone’s gone, they’re gone. Death is permanent. And one day all you’re going have is photos and
memories and what you’ve stored in your mind.
So like I said, Andy was home for 14 days, greatest 14 days ever. Every morning I woke up and Andy and
Marley were sitting at the kitchen table, eating either Froot Loops or Lucky Charms talking to each other. And
she had crooked pigtails on her head. And the neatest part I found out about this after Andy had been killed
was that the weeks leading up to coming home to see Myles born, he had deployed his fellow female soldiers
to teach him how to braid just in case Marley’s hair was long enough to do so, which it wasn’t, but he figured
out how to get her piggies in and they were crooked and they were perfect. And that is one of my favorite
memories of my husband. He was so intentional and thoughtful and he planned everything out and he tried to
do the best he could.
And he was present, although he was an 11-hour time difference. And so many thousands of miles away,
Andy was a part of our every day because I promised him in that moment on February 24th, 2003, when he
was deployed the first time that our kids would know who he was. And he promised from the moment I met
him, that he would be there a hundred percent. And he was. Last time I ever saw Andy alive was the
beginning of April 2005 at the Toledo Lucas County Airport. Andy looked at me when we were standing there
waiting to give the TSA agent his ID. Tears streaming down his face similar to the day he’d been deployed.
And there’s a lot of things I don’t tell anyone. And I’ll only ever share with my kids, but oftentimes I do
recount certain moments from this time. And that is that he looked at me and he said, this is the last time I’m
ever gonna see you. I know I’m not coming home.
I know I’ll never be here again. And I’m very sorry, but I know that you can do this. And know that I’ll be with
you every day and that I love you and I’m proud of you. And I support every decision you make. It’ll be the
right one. Then he looked the lady who was standing at the podium and he said, this is my wife, Tiffany.
She’s the smartest, most beautiful woman in the world and the mother of my children. And this is Marley and
this is Myles. These are my kids. And I love them so much. And you could see she kinda teared up a little
and handed him his ID back and said yes sir. And then he walked in the line and kept every five feet or so, he
would stop and turn around, and wave to us. He’d walk and he’d stop and he’d turn around and wave to us
until we couldn’t see him anymore. And that’s the last time I ever saw Andy alive.
It was on Mother’s Day 2005, May 8th. I woke up and it wasn’t the same wakeup that I’d had every day since
Myles was born and Andy was back in country. Every day without fail between three and four in the morning,
Andy would call me and be like, babe, what are you doing? And I’d be like, well I was sleeping. That call did
not come that day. Never came. I went about my day for the first few hours and all of my friends called. The
other girls that had their soldiers deployed with Andy. And I remember telling my friend, Aubrey, I said,
something’s wrong. I know something’s wrong with Andy, something’s happened. And she said, no, no, no.
They’re probably on lockdown. As soon as they can get to the phones, you know Andy will be the first in line,
he’s gonna call, it’s Mother’s Day. He’ll be the first in line. And I said, no, Aubrey, I know something’s wrong.
And it was about an hour and a half later, I got to Andy’s foster parents’ house, they had raised him until the
end of high school so that he could graduate. And I just said to his foster mom, something’s wrong. I think
something’s happened to Andy. And then my phone started ringing and the phone calls were toggling back
and forth between Southfield, Michigan, where there was a soldier who was attached to Andy’s unit and
Dover, which if you’re getting calls from Dover, that’s not a good sign. That’s where casualty operations
come through. And the one guy said, I just need to know where you are Miss Eckert. I just need to know
where you are. They didn’t have the correct address for us.
And then when I got on the line with Dover the second time I said to the woman, ma’am, is my husband
dead? And she paused for what felt like a really long time, but it probably wasn’t and she said, I, I need to
know where you are, Mrs. Eckert. And then it was about an hour later, a military vehicle pulled up in the
driveway and I was sitting on a rock at the end of the sidewalk. And when only one got out, I thought, okay,
he’s just injured. So we’re gonna go to Germany and bring him home and we’re gonna figure it out. It’s
gonna be fine. And you know, I don’t remember that gentleman’s name. I couldn’t pick him out of a crowd,
but if I ever saw his eyes again, I would know, I would know exactly who he was, cuz that’s what I was
staring at the whole time he was speaking. And I remember every word he said. And when I walked away
from him and oftentimes people in our situation, they imagine what would happen if I was notified.
And I’m sure just regular people may be watching movies where there’s a notification and they think, oh,
what would I do if I found out someone had been killed? Well I walked up the sidewalk and at that time I’d
had time to call my friends in the area, my military friends and they were sitting on the porch and everyone
said what happened? And all I could say was Andy passed away today. And I walked up the steps and I
walked away from everyone. And I sat on a bench all by myself on the opposite side of the porch. I remember
putting my heads in my, my head in my hands. And I said, I can’t do this. I can’t, I can’t do this. And I started
to cry and my friend came over, her mom and she smacked leg really hard, which was good because she
woke me up out of whatever I was at the moment, and she said, oh Tiffany, yes you will and yes you can.
And she grabbed me by my chin and she turned my face very aggressively towards the other end of the
porch. And all I could see were Marley and Myles. And she said, yes, you can. And yes, you will because
those babies need you. You have to get up every day and you have to do this.
You have to do this, Tiffany. And I stood up. And I have never stopped standing. There was never a single day
that I didn’t get outta bed because Marley and Myles needed me. There was never a single day that I felt
sorry for myself to the point where I couldn’t function because Marley and Myles needed me. And I have
stood every second of every single day that has passed in the last 17 years since losing Andy. And I would
listen that if you have the opportunity to be a Miss Terry for someone, do it. Just like Dan had the opportunity
to see out that window and see what he saw that has changed everything and started Folds of Honor. You
have opportunities to be Miss Terry for someone, you just have to be awake. You just have to be aware. You
have to be there for people. Life isn’t about you. You have one chance, one opportunity. Stop being selfish
and be there in moments where you could be the only person. Ms. Terry changed the trajectory of my life.
100%. I wouldn’t have made it this far. If she hadn’t been there with me in that moment. And I could recount
so many memories and so many things that to some, you would say, you would classify them as
heartbreaking. But for me, I would say, don’t let your heart be broken over the trauma I’ve experienced.
However, when you hear stories like mine, let your heart bend, let your heart bend so that you can make a
positive change and gain new perspective for your life and the opportunity that you’ve been given to live. You
know, I was 23 when Andy died, he was 24. Marley was 20 months old and Myles was one month old. This
Mother’s Day, May 8th will be 17 years since Andy died. And it just so happens, I believe it’s the third time
that May 8th has fallen on Mother’s Day again, since he died.
And I would say in all these years, I’m 40 now. I’m starting to get forehead lines. I’m starting to get crow’s
feet. I’m starting to get gray hair. I’m a little overweight. But you know what? I am so thankful for that
opportunity. And the perspective that life is short and my husband will always, always be 24. He did not get
to age. We were supposed to grow old together. I wanted to watch get laugh lines and I wanted to watch his
hair shift from black to silver. But that didn’t happen. And so I would say to people listening, embrace who
you are in this moment because you get to be in this moment because of fate. And also because of people
like Andy, who are willing to die for you, does that make sense?
Greg:
You are amazing. We just need to breathe. I think, candidly, I wanna say thank you. It feels shallow. It’s not
enough. You just need to know we’re grateful. I don’t think that’s enough. I just would say that what we all
can do is just never forget that freedom isn’t free. Never forget Tiffany’s story. Never forget Andy’s story.
Let’s realize the sacrifice that a very small percentage of people make so we can live our lives. There was so
much in there. I wrote like moments. I think you said moments don’t ha— like you don’t realize they’re
special moments until you look back on ’em. You’re not always aware pictures, pictures. I was at a surprise
party on Saturday and they’re all the pictures I’m like, wow.
The pictures of this gentleman, who’s a really good friend of mine and his family, I thought were awesome.
Ms. Terry, there should be a, there should be a national Ms. Terry award, right? I mean that Ms. Terry, I
mean, just be Ms. Terry. That also like listening to you when she turns your chin to your children, it shows
you whether you’re talking about Andy, Tiffany or Crystal, how powerful life can be when you actually focus
on other people. One of my questions was it was gonna be like, how do you stay strong every day? How do
you stand up every day? How do you stay so positive and committed to Andy’s legacy? But you answered it.
Tiffany:
Well there’s more too. I would say, well, for me personally another very, very valid point is I never got to say
goodbye to my husband and every single thing I do every single day, especially this work, this is how I say, I
love you to Andy. This is my tangible way. This work and the way I live my life and the way I treat people now,
I’m not perfect. Some, some days I have bad days or I get frustrated, but for the most part, I am genuinely
very giving, very forgiving, very intentional, very present. And it all goes back to the fact that I will never have
closure. I’m not getting to say goodbye. And I will never hear back at this point in my life, or for the last 17
years. I love you too, Tiff. I have to seek it out if that makes sense.
So especially in regards to any work I do with the military and awareness around the Gold Star community
and Folds of Honor. And anytime I tell our story, this is how I tell Andy, I love you. And this is how I show
Marley and Myles that Andy and I loved each other. And we loved them. Because, you know, I’ve said for
years, I lost a lot and this was very traumatic. You know, I was when your frontal lobe isn’t even fully formed
till you’re 25 years old. So a lot of things happened before I was medically fully sound, if that makes sense.
This is truly how I make sense of something that doesn’t make sense. It doesn’t make sense. Andy was
wonderful. He would’ve been the best dad ever. He would’ve been the best coach ever. He would’ve been all
the things. You know, Marley has never heard her dad say, you’re beautiful. I love you. Now I tell her that
every day, more than she’d like to hear. Enough for three people let alone just him and I. Myles has never
thrown a ball with him. You know, I, I try to be, fill the void, but I can’t. I promised Andy, our kids would know
him. It always goes back to that promise. And I promised Andy that I would love him forever, which I will.
Greg:
So Tiffany, incredible. Could you make the connection between your incredible story and what education
meant to Andy to you and how Folds of Honor have helped you fulfill that mission?
Tiffany:
Yes. So the night before Andy was killed, within hours of his death, he called home. And again, he said many
things. I don’t share everything. He did reiterate again that he knew he wasn’t coming home. And the last
conversation we ever had was in regard to, Andy thought I was the smartest most wonderful person he ever
knew. And he knew that I needed to go to school. And he, he said, I know it might take a while because the
kids are young, but no matter what you need to get an education, it’s very important. And our kids need to
have an education, that’s very important to me. I need you to promise that that’s gonna happen. And I
agreed, and it’s taken a long time for me personally, to go back to school, but in the fall of 2020, in the crux
of the pandemic, I decided to quit my job and go back to school. And in doing so, not only am I fulfilling that
final and last promise, which I was putting it off because it’s the last promise I ever made to him.
And there’s a big sense of finality in that. The last thing you’re hanging onto, you know, that’s over. But I’m,
I’m glad I’m in school. I’m, I’m full-time in college and I’m doing very well, but number one, I’m, I’m filling
that promise. But also, I found healing. My major is human development and family studies with a minor in
gerontology. So my major is the study of human development across the lifespan, which has provided me
with an intense amount of healing in regard to my childhood, as well as the trauma of losing my husband at
such a young age. And it has helped me to be a better person. When I say I have found healing, 100% I have
truly found healing and that wouldn’t have happened if I didn’t go back to school. And Folds of Honor has
provided that opportunity for me. Additionally, my children have been recipients for several years.
Marley is now 18 years old. She graduates in just a couple of weeks and she has been able to go to a private
high school for the last four years where she has excelled. Her cumulative GPA has been above a 4.0 for the
last four years. She applied to multiple colleges and was accepted into every single one. Some big colleges
too. She’s in the National Honor Society. She’s the captain of her rowing team. You know, she’s done a lot of
amazing things, which she wouldn’t have done if she wasn’t at the school she was at. She just told me this
weekend, she declared yesterday, which was the college decision day. She’s decided to stay close to home. I
had a different idea of where I wanted her to go, but ultimately is her decision and she and I will be at the
same college in the fall.
And now I’m hoping we take Spanish together because I’m gonna need a study buddy. So that’s really
special. And then my son, Myles, he is 17. He is a junior in high school and you know, school comes easy for
some and for others, it doesn’t. And oftentimes people forget that everyone has different skill. Now, when I
look at my son, I have always seen this amazing young man who has so much to offer the world, but school’s
been a struggle for him. Since kindergarten. And I remember when he was very young sitting in a meeting
and I was told, you know, he’s got a lot of challenges you should probably come up with a less traditional
plan for him. College might not be in his future. And I said, oh, I beg to differ. I’m pretty sure if he wants to go
to college, he’s gonna go to college.
And here we are, for the last several years, Myles has utilized his Folds of Honor scholarship for private
tutoring, which has put him in a place that I was told. He’d never be and ending his junior year, for him,
Myles has an excellent GPA and it’s looking like he won’t have to go full day for senior year next year. And he
will also be going to the same college that Marley and myself are at. So that will be a fun time.
Greg:
Wow. <Laugh>
Tiffany:
And it of first and foremost, it’s because I love my kids that they have succeeded so well, but also because
Folds of Honor has come in, locked arms and shown us the support and love and additional resources that
we need in order to be successful in regard to our education. And I would say, and I say this every time I
speak, you’re not giving a donation to Folds of Honor.
That’s not how I view it. I view it as an investment. And oftentimes people wanna see the return on their
investments. And to that, I would say, you may not see it because our group, unfortunately, is bigger than it
should be. However, every night when you crawl into bed or every day as you walk around in life and you’re
covered by that blanket of freedom, that is where you find your return. That is where you find the return on
your investment. And it’s immeasurable. You cannot go wrong by providing anybody an education, especially
children like Marley and Myles or spouses like myself. You cannot go wrong by giving someone the gift of
learning and a debt free education.
Greg:
Tiffany, we’re in the investment business, but you’re one of the best investments I think anybody could ever
wanna make. <Laugh>
Greg:
Tiffany or Crystal who would like to step up and tell this story that I think is one of the best stories I’ve ever
heard about being awake about major Dan Rooney. Who’s got it?
Tiffany:
The long, long and short of it is Dan was on a flight and the pilot came over the speaker and asked that they
remained seated because they had hero traveling on board. And he was looking out the side window. He, he
describes it as I believe, a starry night, looking out the window. And he watched as Brock Buckland’s body
was rolled out from underneath the cargo area of the plane. And he watched this entire scene unfold where
Brock’s small son was standing there and they received his remains. And when he turned back around, after
watching everything play out, most of the people on the plane had gotten up and gotten off the plane and
disregarded the message that had come over. And in that moment, he had this pivotal, I would describe it
from hearing the story so many times firsthand and via the video.
He had this awakening. This call to action, where he knew he had to do something as an American, as a
veteran, just as a general human being. He had to do something to change what had happened. And I will
say, hundred percent, in all of the years that have passed since he experienced that epiphany, he has made
a huge sweeper wave of change for my, the community that myself and my children are a part of. And I
believe the ripple effect is immeasurable. What he’s been able to accomplish because he was awake and he
was cognizant. And he was aware in that moment where other people were selfish and didn’t care and were
in a rush. And couldn’t take five minutes to show reverence to one of our fallen.
Greg:
The reality is I ask everybody to listen to it again and take notes. And I think there’s so many lessons in there
on great investments we can make, and gratitude we can have, and pictures we can take. I remember on my
wedding night, there was a manager of the brokerage firm I was at that day. And he said he gave me a $50
bill, which was like back then a trillion. And he gave me a $50 bill. And he said, I’m gonna give you this $50
bill, as long as you do one thing. And he said, make sure you kiss Lori before you go to bed every night and
tell her you love her. And, you know, he was that Mrs. Terry for me that day. And Tiffany, thank you for
reminding me of that today. You, you really are a remarkable person.
Tiffany:
Thank you for receiving it, man. I’m just an ordinary person. Who’s been through some extraordinary things
and I’m trying to make the most of my life, which is what we should all be doing. We just have to do better
and be better. So thank you for being open.
Greg:
I think you just did a pretty good job of explaining a hero but thank you for that explanation. I think it’s pretty
well done.
Tiffany:
Well, too, I would say, I know you’re in the financial business. And so a lot of people listening are in realm,
but not everybody has the same skillsets or resources. So I would to anyone listening in the off chance that
doesn’t have the financial resources to support. Oftentimes people ask, well, what can I do? I’m just, what,
what can I do if I don’t have money to give? And I would say, for me personally, I would never ask you for
anything, regardless of who you are or what resources you have. However, at the end of the day, if you really
wanna know what I personally, as a surviving spouse of a soldier who was killed in action, and the mother of
two kids that were left behind, what I think is: you need to just be a better person, be awake like Dan was. Be
there like Miss Terry was. Be present every day like I am. Be a better person. If you can’t give money, you
know, there’s other ways. Make your life count for something.
Greg:
Tiffany, would you feel comfortable telling Myles’ story?
Tiffany:
Sure. It was the beginning of February 2014. We had a lot of severe weather in our area and the kids had
had multiple snow days in a row. And we had a day off from school that day, but the weather was nice
enough so that we could go out. And I asked the kids, where do you wanna go? Let’s go to lunch. And they
said, let’s go to Cracker Barrel. And so we were walking in the cracker barrel and unbeknownst to me until
we were in the restaurant, Myles had found $20 in the, in the parking lot. And as we were walking in, he was
like super excited and him and Marley were going back and forth and da-da-da-da-da. And we sat down and
Myles was like, mom, I found $20 in the parking lot, our waitress is getting a really big tip today. I was like,
okay buddy. He was like, don’t worry, I got the tip. I was like, alright buddy. So then, I don’t know, 15
minutes or so later, Frank Dailey walked in with his wife and his grandson.
And he was in uniform because he was airman at the 180th in our area, this Air Force base. And he, he
came in and he sat down and Myles’ eyes were just really big. And he was following him until he sat in his
seat. And then he looked at me and he looked back at Frank and he looked at me. And he said, mom, you’re
gonna have to take care of the waitress, cause I’m gonna buy that guy’s lunch instead. And I said, OK, that’s
fine. And so Myles at, I always have post-it notes and a pen on me because we, typically it would be Marley
and I, but we would leave random notes of kindness or pay it forwards and whatever, just scatter them
throughout our day, whenever we were, anywhere. Always based on being anonymous. And Myles wrote this
note and it said, Dear soldier, my dad was a soldier, I found this $20 in the parking lot when we got here. We
like to pay it forward in our family.
Today is your lucky day. And he signed it Myles Eckert, a Gold Star kid. And he wrapped the 20 up in that
green post-it, and then it took him a while. Cuz Myles is very, very nervous. He’s very shy. And I walked over
with him eventually, cuz he kept trying to go and give it to Frank and he would run over there and run back.
And so finally I walked over there with him and I said, Hey, my son wants to give you this. And he said, Hey,
thanks. And that was that. And we went about the rest of our day. Well I think what had happened was
Frank’s daughter took a picture of the note and posted it online locally. And then all of a sudden, people, you
know, the power of social media and Facebook people were like, oh I know that kid.
And they were tagging me. They were like, Hey, that’s Tiffany, I know them, blah, blah, blah, blah. And it
became just like locally, this organically wild story and local news picked it up. And then before, you know it,
all these outlets were calling and Steve Hartman called and he asked if he could come out and do a story,
which he did. And then it went super mega viral. And we were getting calls from every national outlet. I
mean, I said no to Steve Harvey, Meredith Viera, Good Morning America, all these things. And then Ellen
called and it was partially like Ellen. And then also we were getting so much traction. People were sending
mail to the kids’ school. They were, our, our mail was just insane. People were finding my phone number and
calling. People from all over the world. And I said, we gotta put the brakes on this because I don’t know what
to do. And so I said yes to Ellen because I felt that it was the most mainstream platform to get the word out to
say hey, this is really great and nice.
But if you guys could stop sending stuff to my house or, you know, we were trying to redirect the pay it
forwards to something else. And I’ll tell you, behind the scenes, I’m a single mom and life is, it’s hard to be a
single mom and financially I could have taken advantage of the situation, but I never felt I was supposed to.
Never. And so we paid everything forward. We gave it all away and we directed it to a different charity at the
time that was before we knew what Folds was. And in one initiative in a couple of months we raised 1.8
million. And in the time since, you know, 2014 we’ve raised, I mean, I don’t even know at this point, because
it was never about keeping track, right. And we’ve continued to do things, you know, publicly. And then
obviously still tried to maintain, do anonymous things here and there as we can.
And the beauty of Myles’ story is that it went, I believe so far and wide is because it was genuine. And I feel
that my job all this time has been to be the protector of Myles’ story. And so I said no to things that other
people would’ve said yes to, for personal gain. And I believe that’s truly why it has gone so far and wide. And
literally across the globe and day that the publicist had sent Dan through, Frank called and he said, Tiffany, I
a hundred percent support that you are telling these people, all these people, no, I’m okay with it. He goes,
but if there is one thing that you could please say yes to, there’s this guy and he’s a fighter pilot. You know,
Frank was in the Air Force. He goes, he wants us to come to this outing in Owasso at the Patriot, which is,
you know, the golf, the club.
And he goes, I, you know, in order for me to go, you guys have to go. So could you consider saying yes to
this? I said, well, I’ll give the guy a call. How about that? And I knew, I called Dan Rooney on his cell phone.
And I knew the minute that we were on the phone, that he was genuine, authentic. It was real that he wasn’t
take advantage of my son, or our family, or exploit our story, or exploit Andy or Myles.
And, you know I can’t say enough, enough good things about Dan in particular, but also anybody that I’ve
encountered who is a part of the mission. They, I have not met one person who does not genuinely stand
behind our family and the fact that they’re educating these kids. And I’ll tell you, because of Myles’ story and
the exposure we’ve had and things that I’ve been privy to, it is exceptionally rare. That’s why I’ll always stand
with Folds.

Greg:
To sit here and listen. And just so thankful for your commitment, your sacrifice, the lessons you’ve taught all
the listeners today. You know, when Dan says, who I do not know, Dan Rooney, but just watching him and
learning about him, truly is a hero.
And please everybody, in listening to these stories, let’s remember 1% of our country fights for the freedom
of the other 99%. And let’s make sure we understand that freedom isn’t free. And if we’re ever in a situation
like that airplane, let’s stay seated and let’s give our heroes the respect they’ve earned and deserved. God
bless both of you and God bless our military.
Thank you for listening to the Imagine That podcast. We hope you enjoyed this episode and welcome you to
reach out to Confluence Financial Partners with your questions and comments. If you’d like to hear more
episodes, head over to confluencefp.com/podcasts, or find us wherever you get your podcast.